Day One Post-Op

Well, it went as well as could be expected 🙂

It’s 3am but I can’t sleep so I thought I might as well post an update.

This is me waiting to go down to surgery. Please note the fetching hospital gown.

I was in theatre for roughly four hours – which was longer than they expected. I’ve briefly seen my surgeon (I was very out of it) and he confirmed that going through my belly was the correct thing to do – apparently there were many adhesions.

I am not shocked by this.

They didn’t initially give me a support band, and I was in a lot of pain – it’s been a long time since I cried from it, but they gave me a belly block and my band and that helps. I was then moved up to a room on the antenatal ward – all gynae-related surgeries are up here.

The irony of this is not lost on me 😂🤣

Pain free is sadly not an option. They started me off on Percocet 6 hourly but that was not doing it for me, so they’ve split it out into Oxycodone and Tylenol. I’ve just had my Tylenol so am staying awake for the next 20 min so they can do my obs then hopefully I can get some more sleep.

I’m doing better than I expected though. I’ve been up and about – briefly shuffled to the bathroom and back. They will be trying that again in a couple of hours.

I’ve been drinking so well that they’ve unhooked my IV fluids – though it’s still in my wrist. On my dominant hand. Goddamn bad veins!

I ate some dinner:

I had a nibble of the toast (too much for me) but I did eat all my raspberry ice.

I dislike saltines intensely, but my lovely night shift nurse has found me Graham crackers which are infinitely preferable. Also iced apple juice.

They are planning on removing my catheter soon!!!

Coughing hurts like a bitch and it’s amazing how much you use your abdomen.

My middle shift nurse thinks I’ll be home by Thursday. Which is good. Hopefully I will see my doctor man tomorrow and he can give more concrete information.

Mom is holding down the fort (thanks Momma!) and the hus-creature will be staying with me here and utilising hospital wi-Fi to do some work tomorrow and Wednesday.

He’s not staying with me overnight because we both feel the kidlets need to see at least one parent (and poor mom needs a break!)

She sent me a picture of #1 Son being a ninja 💕💕💕

We’ve decided not to bring the kids to visit because I’m in too much pain and the risk of them clambering over me is too high. Also, I don’t want to scare them.

I’m missing them like crazy though.

Right, now I shall attempt more sleep. I might be allowed a shower tomorrow!!!

Lab work woes

So. I had a letter confirming my surgery, which told me I was to toddle up for a pre-operative assessment any time between 22/01/2018 and 03/02/2018.

Please note that: Any time between those dates. There was apparently no need to book an appointment.

I could even go up on a Saturday. Well, although that seemed more convenient, meaning the hus-creature wouldn’t have to work from home, we decided it was most sensible to go up on a weekday.

So, here I am. I was educating my Lyft driver on some fundamental differences in the health care systems between the UK and the USA. He pulled some WTF faces when I explained about waiting lists, but did concede that you know, not going bankrupt was a nice perk.

Also maternity leave. Honestly my heart breaks for the few pregnant women of my acquaintance out here.

So? Do we think it’s gone/going well?

Ahahahahahahahahahaha.

Surely, surely madam you jest?

Well, I got there at 08:10, not bad I thought, since on weekdays they open at 07:00.

First thing I had to remember is that for Americans the First Floor is what I, as a Brit, consider to be the Ground Floor. So I got a little flustered trying to find the First Floor lab. Still, the lovely receptionist sent me to the Registrar to do paperwork.

But hang on, I was told I didn’t need to make an appointment. That I just walked in.

Nope. And that wasn’t the first piece of misinformation.

So I’m sitting waiting and get called.

As I was, the lovely J called to let me know that #1 Son had had a full meltdown in the car over not being able to get out and play.

Well kiddo if you’re going to keep running into school at the wrong times, we have to adjust to fit.

I am expecting a bad day now 😰

First, they couldn’t find my surgery in the system!!!!

So that right there wasn’t good. However, once they checked the spelling of my surname, and got the correct date of the operation in, there it was!!!

And then there was nothing in the system about my pre-operative testing. The lovely registrar (thank you Mary, you were a saint!) was trying her best to find it.

So they try to ring my doctor. Well it was only 08:25 by this point, so they weren’t open.

With many apologies, they send me back to the waiting area.

It’s more than okay. I’m used to any kind of medical related appointment running at least 40+ minutes over. I had brought my knitting and snacks.

The poor staff were amazed that I wasn’t kicking off about this. But see, what does that achieve? You get a black mark against you, which will affect the level of service you receive, and you just make someone else’s life even fricking harder.

I also heard a more higher up person mutter that my particular doctor’s office is apparently known for screwing with the paperwork. They had tried entering a span of dates, including the ones on my letter, but they hadn’t worked.

It turns out that when the provisional hysterectomy was agreed back in December (the 12th for anyone who is interested) the paperwork was inputted into the system and dated for 20th December.

So no wonder they couldn’t find it!

By this point I highly feared for anyone attempting to take my blood pressure!

So off I toddled to the lab, armed with fresh paperwork, labels and renewed hope singing in my heart.

And actually, it wasn’t too bad. I was waiting less than 5 minutes. Then the two phlebotomists fought over who got to stick me because they loved my accent.

I warned them about my (notoriously) bad veins, but she stuck me and got two vials of the stuff first try!!!

So then off I trotted home to relieve the hus-creature (as he was distracting the Tiny Tyrant) and send him off to the office, with a sore arm, but I’m pleased it’s done.

Midweek Madness

Well not so much but things have been happening.

In a week my Momma will be here 💕💕💕

I can’t wait.

She’s coming out to help me recover from the operation, which is about a week and a half away 😱😱

As she has been reading the blog you can’t say she doesn’t know what she’s letting herself in for.

There is a pink metallic marker somewhere in this house minus its lid. TT knows where it is. I do not. Many wall cleanings. Much frustration.

Yesterday I had the fun of handling her and #1 Son from 08:00 – 17:00 without being able to use running water. We had previously been given 24 hours notice of sewer pipe work.

Actually they did finish an hour early, but next time that happens I’m filling my dye pots with clean water as well as my kettle.

It is not pleasant washing your hands with baby wipes all day!

I am laying down the groundwork for my main convalescence project.

Yes, it is a 24-Skein project!!! I’m sure there will be others, but this is a simple crochet pattern that will keep my hands busy without overtaxing my brain too much.

Don’t worry Mothership – we will knit socks etc together.

I had already touched on the upcoming surgery with #1 Son, but as it’s getting closer, I had another talk with him.

Do you know what he said?

Don’t worry mommy. I will look after you. And if you need food or drinks I will bring them to you.

Is someone cutting onions in here? I swear my tiny Grinch heart just grew three sizes. My boy is the sweetest kid ever.

Yes, he discovered Snapchat today – J sent me this.

What else has been happening? Not much new really.

Well, except I now have a SSN card!!!!

I am a legitimate proper (alien) person! Roll on everything. I need to start writing stuff down for my Etsy shop now!

Six months!

(And two days 😂🤣 – but I was busy with MLK stuff on Monday!).

I can’t believe we’ve been on this crazy adventure for half a year!!!

Well it’s not quite as crazy anymore – unless you count the weather!

We’re settling down into something like a routine I think. It’s been a blast, but something resembling normalcy cannot be sneezed at.

So, the hus-creature is pretty settled in his job. He actively prefers being in an office, even with a sucky commute (certainly compared to what it was whilst we lived in Cambridge). He’s happy and stuff gets done, and he has a great work-home life balance, which means I don’t have to get the thumbscrews out.

I mean, if he chooses to work on a sudden brainstorm after I’ve gone to bed? No skin off my nose!

TT is happy. She’s got her toys, access to her favourite films, her brother after 3pm and me. And I come quite high up the list it seems actually – and not just in a “I am bored of this film parental unit, change it”

And it’s been amazing to watch her grow and change.

I do wish she would stop throwing her meal plates and bowls in the kitchen bin though. I know she believes she is helping, but I swear we have lost at least a few that way now!

It’s harder to quantify with #1 Son. He still has moments when he talks about missing England, his old house, his old school, his friends. But he’s getting there. He’s a special boy who needs extra support and he’s getting it. We still have bad school days, but the bad moments at home at least are much less. And the levels of bad at school are overall reduced. We have to remember to adjust our own expectations of him at times, yet the moments when he surpasses or blows right past them make it worthwhile. His therapy will help him, the school are supporting him, and we have documented proof that he’s bright.

I’ll turn cartwheels when he has his first birthday party or play date though.

The cat? She also seems happier overall. She’s eating more, has more places to hide and nest in, and still has human company as and when she desires it. I think this has been as good for her as it has for the children – unexpected bonus.

Me? Again hard to quantify. I’m doing well, I think. I’ve got my operation soon (eeeeep), the Mothership is coming to visit and look after me and the monkeys (love you Momma!). I’ve applied for my SSN, and got my work permit.

My knitting is coming along amazingly, and I have projects planned for recovery and convalescence.

I’m firmly heading down the path to setting up my own dyeing side business. The hus-creature is helping with the practical questions, as I’m still stuck on “what should I call it”. But I can’t put us in the hole to do this!

I’ve got time to sort it. I know I won’t be doing Advent Calendar boxes for 2018 at least.

I’m still going to knitting group – it’s going okay. They are helpful and lovely ladies. One of them bought me a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints cookies as (obviously) I have never had them before! And apparently I should expect casseroles etc to be left on my front porch post-surgery which is amazing.

I do still have bad days. I am still really bad at this domestic goddess malarkey, but I’m getting there. It’s becoming the new normal.

One month til O-Day

And O in this case refers to operation.

Stop snickering at the back there.

This time next month I will, hopefully, be in recovery after having had the organs that have repeatedly try to kill me since I turned 15 removed.

Unfortunately, they won’t let me watch them burn. This saddens me.

Ah well. Que sera sera.

I’m optimistic about the prognosis. Don’t mistake me, I’m under no illusions that it’s a miracle cure, but it will get rid of a lot of my pain, the root cause of said pain, and eliminate any chance of:

Ovarian cancer
Cervical cancer (which I am apparently at risk for)
Endometrial cancer (also at risk for)

Which are all big ticks in the plus column.

It will also (obviously) remove even the slightest chance of another pregnancy, which though I am a little sad about, at least in the abstract, as I am stupidly high risk for ectopic it would be nuts to even think about that again.

Not to mention the hospital bills – which I am currently endeavouring not to think about, since my colposcopy alone was circa $450

Also my own mommy is coming to look after me 💗 and by the time she gets here I won’t have seen her in over six months so that’s wonderful.

PS – Mothership, make sure you get your ESTA sorted 💕

Oh look, she has a blog name now 😂🤣😘

As children grow

It leaves you joyful but saddened.

The Tiny Tyrant is our last baby. I’m due to be spayed in less than 2 months.

It was always the plan. I’m happy with my children. My family is complete. I cannot hack being pregnant – I’m basically ill and stressed out for 40 weeks. TT nearly killed me by the end of pregnancy with her.

And with my medical issues I’m bloody lucky to have one child, let alone my perfect pigeon pair.

But she’s two in a week.

And she’s growing so fast.

Things she is now doing:

She’s now consistently switching from mummy to mum and from daddy to dad.
She’s saying “fank” instead of “ta”
“Duddle” is being replaced with “hug”
The question “what do we say?” is most often met with “peeeees”
Talking in proper sentences – “I hurt it my finger”
Attempting to count to 10 – she’s mostly reliable up to 5 already.
Opinions – oh the opinions 😬😬😬😬
Her birthday present is a bed.
When daddy said night night to her just now, she immediately began fake snoring 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Whilst I am so so proud of her, and of my boy too, I’m sad.

I won’t ever know another baby. I won’t see the firsts again.

I know I am incredibly lucky I am blessed, and believe me I don’t take it for granted. I’m just nostalgic tonight.

So – here are my babies as babies 💕💕💕

Medical update

So, yesterday I toddled up to see my Primary Care Physician. Basically my new GP.

He is a lovely man.

He wanted to follow up on my blood pressure.

Which, after a week of medication clocked in at an acceptable 120/82

So yes, the losing weight thing will have to happen, but my headaches are now a thing of the past and I feel so much better overall.

And this was what greeted me on the way:

So that wasn’t as pretty as I’d hoped but then this:

Real icicles. Everywhere. They are just beautiful.

I’m really loving winter here so far.

I have no doubt that by the time spring comes around again I’ll be desperate for it, but I’m enjoying this at the moment.

And, in the most exciting news

My hysterectomy has been provisionally booked!!!!!

Yes ladies and gents, Monday 5th Feb is D-Day and I. Cannot. Wait.

Tomorrow I should have it confirmed. Please let it not be cancelled.

The (apparent) aftermath

I am unwell today.

I’ve had killer headaches off and on for over a month – a lot of that can most likely be attributed to my untreated hypertension (started my new medication yesterday – I am now on three pills a day 👍🏻😂)

But at 3am this morning I was dragged awake with a screaming head – to the extent I actually woke the poor hus-creature by sobbing.

And I remained awake for at least an hour.

This beautiful creature kept me company though:

I’ve often said we have a dog-cat 😂🤣

Sadly kitty-snuggles were not sufficient and at 4am I was calling God on the porcelain telephone.

Note: American toilets are not comfy for doing this if you are used to British plumbing.

Oddly I felt better enough to then snuggle down with my furry companion and my cuddly hot water bottle (that would be the hus-creature) and basically pass out until the alarms went off.

I’ve pretty much been a zombie for the rest of the day though. Just mainlining stodge, carbs, sugar and caffeine to get through.

No it’s not healthy but lord has it helped.

My head is still pounding, and #1 Son has a half day today, but he’s being lovely and TT is also being reasonable.

A little Christmas present from me to me arrived today:

Which has helped.

I am so tired of feeling sick and tired. Endometriosis is a bastard, and all the other conditions can get in the sea as well.

An incredibly successful day

For both #1 Son and myself.

At 09:00 this morning I strode off to school suited and booted for #1 Son’s initial evaluation meeting for Special Education Provision.

I’ve been both dreading and looking forward to this by turns.

He had to meet certain specific criteria to qualify for an IEP – which is an Individualised Education Programme.

Basically it was to see whether or not he could be statemented.

I spent a year working in the SEN department of Oxfordshire County Council, so I knew how hard getting one of these could be, at least without a metric tone of supporting documentation and medical backup.

And the autism assessment process is stalled a bit. It’s just so slow.

So I had reports from:

An Educational Psychologist.
An Occupational Therapist.
A Speech and Language Therapist
The School’s own SENCO

Which came home on Friday, which I read, re-read, highlighted and annotated.

I went up to this meeting agreeing with the reports, but prepared for battle if needed. I knew they wanted to help him, but criteria are criteria and he had to meet them to get the extra help.

At the meeting were:

Myself – daddy stayed at home with TT
The Principal
His class teacher
The school nurse
Head of SEN services for the district as meeting co-ordinator
The school Counsellor – who #1 Son has dubbed “The Feelings Lady”
The SENCO
The Occupational Therapist
The Speech and Language Therapist
The Educational Psychologist

It was a full meeting. I was completely drained both physically and emotionally after it. He’s not the only one in this household who can get overwhelmed.

So he couldn’t be registered with a disability due to autism, as the school cannot diagnose that.

He couldn’t get the IEP on cognitive ability because the reports proved he is average to above average in almost all areas.

So what’s left? Well, a few things but the main one is Developmental Delay.

That is a blanket term that covers a lot of things, but the one that covers him best is social, emotional or adaptive functioning.

I don’t disagree. He has severe sensory issues, cannot relate to his peers (but is great with much older and much younger children), confidence issues and is struggling generally.

I just feel a massive sense of relief.

Within 10 school days we will get a copy of the IEP and once we read it, sign it and return it, it becomes “activated” and off we go.

There will be more meetings, more reviews. This is not a one-off thing, but the main hurdle has been jumped and he will get more help.

And now for the second good thing of the day.

I went for a pre-operative assessment with the surgeon who would perform my hysterectomy if agreed to.

Well, take a shufty at this ladies and gentlemen:

For those in the audience who cannot read doctor handwriting (it’s a skill), he had agreed, without any hesitation, to perform:

A TOTAL ABDOMINAL HYSTERECTOMY

WITH BILATERAL SALPINGO OOPHERECTOMY

They are taking Every. Single. Thing. Out!!!!

I could have kissed Mr. Surgeon Man.

🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊

I’ve been warned that because they will go in through the belly it’s going to be the full six weeks recovery time for the procedure alone, coupled with six months to feel myself and back to normal again.

That’s fine.

Not to be outdone

By her brother, TT was completely hysterical and inconsolable from 1-2am

I brought her into our bed to calm down but we got poked, slapped, pinched, “hello hello mommy/daddy” and “shhhhhhhhhh”‘d at until we gave up and put her back in the cot at 2.

She settled seemingly easily (I should have been more suspicious) and we got up at the normal time and I went in to get her up.

Only to be greeted by a scene from The Exorcist 🤢

So it’s been a double bath day for both kids. But honestly you would not know she’s been sick.

This was filmed at 09:09:

Hop the bunny

I didn’t know she knew that bunnies hopped!

Whilst I am following the normal sickness bug protocols just in case, I am mostly putting it down to irritated gut from all the screaming.

She has not been happy with following the BRAT diet all day.

I also introduced her to Simon’s Cat in an attempt to save my sanity today.

There has since been a constant litany of “more cat”, “more kitty” or “more bunny”.

It’s been a long day.

I also had an appointment with my primary care doctor at 11:15. Ostensibly for a medication review.

I’m not certain he has prescribed me anything for my professed (and finally admitted) anxiety but he has definitely given me a prescription for blood pressure medication.

Yes, I have hypertension.

Deep joy.

I have been suffering from blinding headaches off and on for over a month and finally I admitted that the hus-creature was correct to nag me about it as it could not just be put down to “late Zoladex jab”

My lovely doctor man concurred with this, and I need to return at 09:45 on Monday December 11th to see if it’s improving.

I was still waiting for over an hour to see him though….

This is not the shining example that is being touted across the pond…

I mean it’s good, at least if you have insurance, don’t get me wrong, but it’s flaws are incredibly similar to those I have experienced within the NHS.

Also, the pharmacy did not have the required medicaments. They offered to send it to another pharmacy, but I needed to get home so that the hus-creature could get into work for the afternoon. Also, it was sent as an electronic prescription so I’m not certain I trust it to be sent along, and I’m not entirely sure where any other pharmacies are locally.

All good fun.