One month til O-Day

And O in this case refers to operation.

Stop snickering at the back there.

This time next month I will, hopefully, be in recovery after having had the organs that have repeatedly try to kill me since I turned 15 removed.

Unfortunately, they won’t let me watch them burn. This saddens me.

Ah well. Que sera sera.

I’m optimistic about the prognosis. Don’t mistake me, I’m under no illusions that it’s a miracle cure, but it will get rid of a lot of my pain, the root cause of said pain, and eliminate any chance of:

  • Ovarian cancer
  • Cervical cancer (which I am apparently at risk for)
  • Endometrial cancer (also at risk for)

Which are all big ticks in the plus column.

It will also (obviously) remove even the slightest chance of another pregnancy, which though I am a little sad about, at least in the abstract, as I am stupidly high risk for ectopic it would be nuts to even think about that again.


Not to mention the hospital bills – which I am currently endeavouring not to think about, since my colposcopy alone was circa $450


Also my own mommy is coming to look after me πŸ’— and by the time she gets here I won’t have seen her in over six months so that’s wonderful.

PS – Mothership, make sure you get your ESTA sorted πŸ’•

Oh look, she has a blog name now πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜˜

As children grow

It leaves you joyful but saddened.

The Tiny Tyrant is our last baby. I’m due to be spayed in less than 2 months.

It was always the plan. I’m happy with my children. My family is complete. I cannot hack being pregnant – I’m basically ill and stressed out for 40 weeks. TT nearly killed me by the end of pregnancy with her.

And with my medical issues I’m bloody lucky to have one child, let alone my perfect pigeon pair.

But she’s two in a week.

And she’s growing so fast.

Things she is now doing:

  • She’s now consistently switching from mummy to mum and from daddy to dad.
  • She’s saying “fank” instead of “ta”
  • “Duddle” is being replaced with “hug”
  • The question “what do we say?” is most often met with “peeeees”
  • Talking in proper sentences – “I hurt it my finger”
  • Attempting to count to 10 – she’s mostly reliable up to 5 already.
  • Opinions – oh the opinions 😬😬😬😬
  • Her birthday present is a bed.
  • When daddy said night night to her just now, she immediately began fake snoring πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Whilst I am so so proud of her, and of my boy too, I’m sad.

I won’t ever know another baby. I won’t see the firsts again.

I know I am incredibly lucky I am blessed, and believe me I don’t take it for granted. I’m just nostalgic tonight.

So – here are my babies as babies πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

Medical update

So, yesterday I toddled up to see my Primary Care Physician. Basically my new GP.

He is a lovely man.

He wanted to follow up on my blood pressure.

Which, after a week of medication clocked in at an acceptable 120/82

So yes, the losing weight thing will have to happen, but my headaches are now a thing of the past and I feel so much better overall.

And this was what greeted me on the way:

So that wasn’t as pretty as I’d hoped but then this:

Real icicles. Everywhere. They are just beautiful.

I’m really loving winter here so far.

I have no doubt that by the time spring comes around again I’ll be desperate for it, but I’m enjoying this at the moment.

And, in the most exciting news

My hysterectomy has been provisionally booked!!!!!

Yes ladies and gents, Monday 5th Feb is D-Day and I. Cannot. Wait.

Tomorrow I should have it confirmed. Please let it not be cancelled.

The (apparent) aftermath

I am unwell today.

I’ve had killer headaches off and on for over a month – a lot of that can most likely be attributed to my untreated hypertension (started my new medication yesterday – I am now on three pills a day πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ˜‚)

But at 3am this morning I was dragged awake with a screaming head – to the extent I actually woke the poor hus-creature by sobbing.

And I remained awake for at least an hour.

This beautiful creature kept me company though:

I’ve often said we have a dog-cat πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Sadly kitty-snuggles were not sufficient and at 4am I was calling God on the porcelain telephone.


Note: American toilets are not comfy for doing this if you are used to British plumbing.


Oddly I felt better enough to then snuggle down with my furry companion and my cuddly hot water bottle (that would be the hus-creature) and basically pass out until the alarms went off.

I’ve pretty much been a zombie for the rest of the day though. Just mainlining stodge, carbs, sugar and caffeine to get through.

No it’s not healthy but lord has it helped.

My head is still pounding, and #1 Son has a half day today, but he’s being lovely and TT is also being reasonable.

A little Christmas present from me to me arrived today:

Which has helped.

I am so tired of feeling sick and tired. Endometriosis is a bastard, and all the other conditions can get in the sea as well.

An incredibly successful day

For both #1 Son and myself.

At 09:00 this morning I strode off to school suited and booted for #1 Son’s initial evaluation meeting for Special Education Provision.

I’ve been both dreading and looking forward to this by turns.

He had to meet certain specific criteria to qualify for an IEP – which is an Individualised Education Programme.

Basically it was to see whether or not he could be statemented.

I spent a year working in the SEN department of Oxfordshire County Council, so I knew how hard getting one of these could be, at least without a metric tone of supporting documentation and medical backup.

And the autism assessment process is stalled a bit. It’s just so slow.

So I had reports from:

  • An Educational Psychologist.
  • An Occupational Therapist.
  • A Speech and Language Therapist
  • The School’s own SENCO

Which came home on Friday, which I read, re-read, highlighted and annotated.

I went up to this meeting agreeing with the reports, but prepared for battle if needed. I knew they wanted to help him, but criteria are criteria and he had to meet them to get the extra help.

At the meeting were:

  • Myself – daddy stayed at home with TT
  • The Principal
  • His class teacher
  • The school nurse
  • Head of SEN services for the district as meeting co-ordinator
  • The school Counsellor – who #1 Son has dubbed “The Feelings Lady”
  • The SENCO
  • The Occupational Therapist
  • The Speech and Language Therapist
  • The Educational Psychologist

It was a full meeting. I was completely drained both physically and emotionally after it. He’s not the only one in this household who can get overwhelmed.

So he couldn’t be registered with a disability due to autism, as the school cannot diagnose that.

He couldn’t get the IEP on cognitive ability because the reports proved he is average to above average in almost all areas.

So what’s left? Well, a few things but the main one is Developmental Delay.

That is a blanket term that covers a lot of things, but the one that covers him best is social, emotional or adaptive functioning.

I don’t disagree. He has severe sensory issues, cannot relate to his peers (but is great with much older and much younger children), confidence issues and is struggling generally.

I just feel a massive sense of relief.

Within 10 school days we will get a copy of the IEP and once we read it, sign it and return it, it becomes “activated” and off we go.

There will be more meetings, more reviews. This is not a one-off thing, but the main hurdle has been jumped and he will get more help.

And now for the second good thing of the day.

I went for a pre-operative assessment with the surgeon who would perform my hysterectomy if agreed to.

Well, take a shufty at this ladies and gentlemen:

For those in the audience who cannot read doctor handwriting (it’s a skill), he had agreed, without any hesitation, to perform:

A TOTAL ABDOMINAL HYSTERECTOMY

WITH BILATERAL SALPINGO OOPHERECTOMY

They are taking Every. Single. Thing. Out!!!!

I could have kissed Mr. Surgeon Man.

πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠ

I’ve been warned that because they will go in through the belly it’s going to be the full six weeks recovery time for the procedure alone, coupled with six months to feel myself and back to normal again.

That’s fine.

Not to be outdone

By her brother, TT was completely hysterical and inconsolable from 1-2am

I brought her into our bed to calm down but we got poked, slapped, pinched, “hello hello mommy/daddy” and “shhhhhhhhhh”‘d at until we gave up and put her back in the cot at 2.

She settled seemingly easily (I should have been more suspicious) and we got up at the normal time and I went in to get her up.

Only to be greeted by a scene from The Exorcist 🀒

So it’s been a double bath day for both kids. But honestly you would not know she’s been sick.

This was filmed at 09:09:

Hop the bunny

I didn’t know she knew that bunnies hopped!

Whilst I am following the normal sickness bug protocols just in case, I am mostly putting it down to irritated gut from all the screaming.

She has not been happy with following the BRAT diet all day.

I also introduced her to Simon’s Cat in an attempt to save my sanity today.

<

There has since been a constant litany of “more cat”, “more kitty” or “more bunny”.

It’s been a long day.

I also had an appointment with my primary care doctor at 11:15. Ostensibly for a medication review.

I’m not certain he has prescribed me anything for my professed (and finally admitted) anxiety but he has definitely given me a prescription for blood pressure medication.

Yes, I have hypertension.

Deep joy.

I have been suffering from blinding headaches off and on for over a month and finally I admitted that the hus-creature was correct to nag me about it as it could not just be put down to “late Zoladex jab”

My lovely doctor man concurred with this, and I need to return at 09:45 on Monday December 11th to see if it’s improving.

I was still waiting for over an hour to see him though….

This is not the shining example that is being touted across the pond…

I mean it’s good, at least if you have insurance, don’t get me wrong, but it’s flaws are incredibly similar to those I have experienced within the NHS.

 

Also, the pharmacy did not have the required medicaments.Β  They offered to send it to another pharmacy, but I needed to get home so that the hus-creature could get into work for the afternoon.Β  Also, it was sent as an electronic prescription so I’m not certain I trust it to be sent along, and I’m not entirely sure where any other pharmacies are locally.

 

All good fun.

4 months in

Well. I (we) have now been living in the USA for a third of a year πŸ™€

Have I learned anything?

Nothing earth shattering. People are people everywhere. Some suck. Others do not. I still struggle making friends but maybe that’s just how it is.

I’ve invited H up to ours for a coffee on Friday as we will (hopefully) have a sofa arrive tomorrow so I will have somewhere for her to sit comfortably while we natter. And she really seems nice, so perhaps I can manage that? She seemed really happy to accept and has been so friendly.

———-

I’ve drawn a line under the possibility of friendship from the knitting class. I’m looking on it as purely educational with a hint of social, and that’s okay. I’ve done it before.

As the weather is changing and getting colder, I’m going to stick it out until the sock(s) are finished then explore other options towards the spring. I’ve got a (probably irrational) fear of being stuck in an unfamiliar town in the snow with no way to get home.

————

I wrote the above before going to my group tonight. I actually had fun. I am officially still confused as to what the hell is going on though.

It was the start of a new 10-week session tonight and there were a lot of people. Including one lady who hadn’t been there in a while due to being hit by a car. She was bubbly and fun and, when she realised I am British, basically grabbed on to me and asked me to talk to her all night.

I didn’t, but people chuckled and found it charming. I am not trying to work it out anymore.

I got a lift home with the lovely G (the lady who gave me her cell number) and she asked if, when I have my hysterectomy, if I want company for an hour or two for knitting and a cuppa she would be happy to.

She had the op at 31 and for the same reasons, so she “gets” it.

Surely you don’t make that sort of offer if you don’t like the person right? Perhaps I have made a friend?

Oh, and I’ve worked out how to share the Fun Run link:

Turkey Trot weblink: Here

Health Update

So, I’ve had another Zoladex stabbing today.

Going to a specific gynaecology practice made the experience marginally more pleasant.

It still hurt like a bastard, but much less bleeding and (so far) no bruising.

Hysterectomy is still not booked, but I do have a colposcopy booked for 29th November, which happens to be the same day as #1 Son’s Parent-Teacher conference, but thankfully the appointments do not overlap.

It just means that the hus-creature will need to work from home that day.

I earned geek cred with a lovely RN at the clinic for wearing this t-shirt:

She is a fellow GoT geek and we chatted a lot about Season 7 twists and turns.

NO SPOILERS!!!!

I was also wearing Hufflepuff socks, but I didn’t need to show ankles today…

Today was a hard day for #1 Son and we are awaiting an email from his teacher to explain why.

But he did come home sporting this:

So it clearly wasn’t all bad.

TT has spent the last 4+ hours inconsolable for random reasons and I am now counting down the minutes until bedtime.

When you have picky eaters

You will try anything to get them to eat.

But, it’s Sunday evening. The migraine pixie has been attempting to visit (I am staving her off with sugar, salt and caffeine) and quite frankly I reached new heights (or is it depths?) of IDGAF-itude and so came up with this:

The little buggers angels have eaten some of everything.

Which means they have both eaten fruit and there is vegetable in the pasta.

I tell you, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Particularly as I just know that if I do it again they won’t bloody touch it.

Is it wine o’clock yet?