The realities of chronic illness

I have endometriosis. It is a chronic, mostly invisible, illness.

This is permanent. There is no cure. There’s nothing I can do to be “better”. It’s never going to go away.

And it’s exhausting. It’s debilitating. And it’s fucking frustrating.

We were going to go to the beach today. Except that I woke up in flare up hell so we’ve had to cancel/postpone.


The worst part of this is that I knew it was coming yesterday but I pretended it wasn’t because I believed that I could control my body through sheer force of will. Guess what? I can’t.


Fortunately we hadn’t told the kids the plan, so they AREN’T disappointed but I am. I’m just devastated.

This is actually the very first time I’ve had to cancel big plans for the kids due to pain (which is pretty bloody good I guess) and it’s had me in floods of tears today.

I’m so so SICK of being sick.

I’ve done everything I could, I’ve opted for surgery that was no goddamn cake walk, and one that has left me unable to have more children of my own should I want them.


Don’t mistake me, I’m grateful to have my babies, but the choice was denied to me. And even now, when I am at peace with the decision, sometimes that pisses me off.


And what is left to me? Nothing.  There’s nothing that anyone can feasibly offer me, because I’ve done the two things that non specialist medicals claim should cure it:

1. Have a baby

Welp, let’s unpack and examine that one further shall we? My condition was only discovered after #1 Son was born.  So, guess what?

HAVING A BABY DOES NOT CURE ENDOMETRIOSIS

I’m going to say that one more time for the people at the back there in the ‘Medical Community’

HAVING A BABY DOES NOT CURE ENDOMETRIOSIS

Or, if it somehow improved it in any noticeable way, I bloody dread to think how utterly, utterly screwed up my insides were before I conceived him.

But then along came TT, and my surgeon here who performed my hysterectomy? Isn’t even remotely surprised that I’m in flare-up 5 (well it was 4 when I saw him last month). Because, and I quote,

I saw your insides. They are a complete mess.

And that was the most recent examination of them – nobody else had actually seen them post-TT arrival.

So before I go into the prescribed treatment options, let us discuss the other ‘cure’ that the so-called medical community loves to throw out there.

2. A Hysterectomy

Please excuse me while I die of hysterical laughter.

Because, you see, considering that a very considerable sub-sect of the medical profession considers this procedure to be the Holy Grail for us Endo Warriors, they make it practically impossible for us to achieve it.

First, there’s the age-old

What if you want more children

Well now Doctor Smart Ass, if you have looked at my goddamn charts you will have seen that the two I do have are literal unexplained medical miracles.

I have replaced myself and my husband, so I’ve fulfilled any kind of biological imperative that there is in the assumed social contract.

Three, if I ever seriously do take that particular blow to the head, then hell there is always adoption.

Four, yes you know what, when I was younger I did want three children. I’m one of three. To me that was the “correct” number. But that was before. Before I learned how bloody difficult parenting truly is, and before I learned that my chances of having one child, let alone three were slim-to-none.

So I’ve heard various iterations of that particular stream of bullshit but that’s not the worst of it. Not by a long chalk. The worst one? The one that has had me incandescent with rage? The one that has had me questioning what century I’m living in?

But what if your husband wants more children?

Or:

What if your husband leaves you?

Followed by

Then what if you meet a new man and he wants children of his own?

Firstly what the fuck? What Handmaid’s Tale level of sexist, misogynistic bullshit is this?

Am I really, truly only worth the potential contents of my uterus? In 2018 (when I had the surgery)?

Secondly? If the hus-creature did leave me right now? Today? I would have much bigger problems than the potential for no children with any hypothetical new partner.

I would be being deported. So yeah, that was so far beyond my scope of worry it’s bloody laughable.

Also, my husband? Not a huge kid person. He married me knowing _I_ wanted kids, and so agreed to have two but he would have been perfectly happy being SINK/DINK so three? Nah. That wouldn’t have been on the table. Which is fine. Men get choices here too.

So I went ahead with the surgery.

Now let’s discuss that particular set of thorny problems.

I wanted a complete hysterectomy. Everything. Out.

My attitude:

Now, it took over a year of begging and pleading to be put on the blasted waiting list when we were in the U.K. having been informed it was six months for the surgery I wanted, they kept me hanging for almost an additional year, and my operation came through for a month after we emigrated.

Now I will never, ever, criticise the NHS. It’s an amazing system, the U.K. is lucky to have it but in some ways it very much lets people down.

Those of us with chronic conditions? Both physical and mental? Yeah we slip through the cracks.

I do comfort myself with the thought that me cancelling that surgery must have allowed some other equally desperate woman to have hers sooner than she had hoped.

So I came out here, met my awesome surgeon who pretty much agreed (after reading my stack of medical records) that I needed the surgery.

But even then I had to plead for the total. He wanted to leave my cervix in at least.

I did not wish to remain a high-risk candidate for cervical cancer. However once I pointed that out he agreed.


However every single time I go to see him he does ask if we left it in there – this does not fill me with confidence


So I did it. I documented it. I had 11 months of freedom.

Now it’s back. And getting worse. And I’m not sure what is left for me to do. He has some ideas, there’s some treatments upcoming – but I’ve got no spare organs left.

There’s nothing else he can cut out. I’m not ready for a colostomy bag – and anyway he’s an OBGYN not a Gastro Doctor so if there’s more in my guts it’s going to need more referrals and arguments with insurance companies


We just got the bill for my “sick visit” last month – insurance companies don’t pay for those here. They did negotiate a lower rate but it’s still $160+


And did I mention I’m tired?

Tired of being the ill one. Tired of being the strong one. Tired of having to lean on my (amazing) husband time and again. When does he get to be the tired one? Tired of scaring/upsetting/worrying my children. Tired of hearing poor TT saying

Mommy is poorly again

Tired of missing out with #1 Son because it costs too many spoons to sit in the fucking backyard let alone take him to the goddamn playground.

I’m sick of this being my life. I want it to be hyperbole. Not reality.

And I’m scared. Scared for my daughter. Scared for any potential granddaughters.

I’m not taken seriously, the cycle is going to continue. I just pray it skips my girl.

Adventures in semi-veganism

Not a title I ever thought I’d write 🙀

And no, I’m not truly vegan at all, but I had already noticed, not even really a week into these new food restrictions, that “vegan friendly” alternatives are my best bet to satiate dairy cravings.

I’m yet to try the solid “cheese” options, but so far I have under my belt:

  • Cashew milk
  • Coconut and almond creamer
  • Oat based “non dairy frozen dessert”
  • Coconut based “non dairy frozen dessert”
  • Strawberry “yogurt” – made with almond milk
  • Vanilla rice crispie treats
  • Chocolate rice crispie treats
  • Vegan butter alternative
  • One cream cheese style spread

So, I thought I would start (potentially) a series of review posts, as I explore life post anything fun.


Okay yes that is a tad dramatic I know, but it’s how it feels goddammit 🤣😂


Reviews Session 1:

So, buckle up my buttercups and let’s start with the…

Coconut and almond creamer

In a word? Vile. I picked it up because I had previously tried soy and (I think) rice milk in my tea back before and during the hysterectomy period and they were thin and horrid. So I assumed that maybe the viscosity was the problem and tried this.

That’s a no from me. I made a single cup of tea, drank it, and threw the rest of the carton in the bin. It was sweet and all kinds of wrong.

See, I’m an oddity (stop giggling at the back there) I like my tea strong. And not sweet. I basically describe it as;

Builder’s tea but hold the sugar

Which generally translates as: if the spoon stands up by itself? Then we are good.

And the problem with a significant amount of these “milk alternatives”? They are sweetened. Or at least way too sweet for my tea palette.

So my hus-creature, who as I may have mentioned is fairly gosh-darned awesome, did a little research for me and came upon this very informative blog post about milk alternatives for tea drinkers.

So we scrubbed the creamer alternative from the list, and moved on to:

Cashew Milk

I know right? How do you milk a nut? Well I’ve also been asking how you milk peas etc and I am still none the wiser 😂🤣

And honestly? As previously noted, cashew milk has been the best that I’ve tried so far. It makes my tea approximately 80% acceptable to my palette. Which is fine. I’ll go with that. It nothing else, it’s cut down on my consumption a little as there is still a slight aftertaste of “something weird and nutty where there should not be nuts” but I will be making a concerted effort to retrain my palette. It’s just going to take time.

So that’s a tick in the plus column. Oh and as it stays “good for drinking” for 7-10 days post opening if kept refrigerated? It’s not as much of a money sink as some of them.


Seriously, only one week in, and the sheer cost of these things is mind-blowing. So anything that has a vaguely decent shelf life is vital.


Next is…

School Safe Marshmallow Bars

I’m supposed to be cutting all added sugar out of my diet too but come on. That in theory means I’m not supposed to eat too much fruit either. And mostly that is solving my sugar cravings. However, I’m also a sucker for Rice Krispie treats and these were a dairy-free equivalent.

No, they aren’t marked as vegan but they are good. More specifically, the chocolate chip one is delicious. The vanilla one?

The consistency is all “off” and honestly does not taste of vanilla. All in all? To quote the great Prue Leith

Not worth the calories

I mean there’s only 90 of them but still. Also not worth the cost. All in all? Won’t be buying the vanilla ones again.

Next up is

Strawberry Almond Milk Yoghurt

Now, there will be a few of these in the days to come, as I am trying different bases (of the milk substitute) and different brands so first up is

So, as you might imagine, I’m more than a little suspicious of non dairy products of this nature, but I’m a game girl so here we go…

On first look I thought

Oh no, I hate “set” yoghurts

And it’s true, Greek style never ever appealed to me. Also the separation liquid always queases me out a touch. However, then I remembered a nifty little trick from when I was much much smaller.

You just take your spoon and stir like a complete maniac.

Et voila – smooth, unseparated yoghurt 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

And honestly? It truly was very tasty. I would happily eat this one again. I couldn’t tell any difference between this and a “normal” strawberry yoghurt. So this one gets a big thumbs up ☺️

Moving on from fridge to freezer:

Frozen Non-Dairy Desserts

I’ve tried two varieties thus far:

I needed something to deal with lack of chocolate, so the hus-creature picked this one from the coconut base end of the spectrum. Honestly?

I was underwhelmed. I mean, yes it had chocolate flavour, but not enough. Once I broke through enough to get to some of the “chocolate hazelnut swirl” it became acceptable at best.

But it does at least look the part. Next up we have:

The oat milk mint chip variety. I actually tried this one first, as I thought that it wouldn’t upset my pre-conceived ideas of ice cream too much. As it turned out, I was right. This one was pretty darned delicious.

I mean, in the interest of giving a truly honest review, it’s consistency was slightly off, and there’s definitely a porridge-like aftertaste, but overall? A darned good attempt at ice cream made from oats of all things. The chips tasted of bitter chocolate and were a pretty good size and texture and the mint wasn’t overwhelming. I most definitely preferred this to the previous one.

I’m not yet feeling brave enough to venture too far outside of my usual flavour profile comfort zone, but this weekend’s grocery shop has netted me two more varieties to try – one of which is Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia in non-dairy which is a firm favourite of old, so I shall report back later once I have sampled.

And finally, two truly acid tests

Butter substitute #1

I was (and still am really) highly suspicious of all of these. And I drew the goddamn line at “I can’t believe it’s not butter” no really those adverts are stuck in my head from years ago and no I’m not encouraging that. Just no.

But this? Well it looked the part:

However, please note the description? See where it says whipped? Nope. It’s not. It’s rock solid straight from the fridge. However, it does have a consistency that allows me to scrape not-butter-curls to allow me to spread it on toast:

And honestly? It’s a bloody good facsimile of butter. I’ve eaten almost all of this week’s half loaf of Artisanal Bread


Oh dear god what have I become?

Is this now me?!?!?


So last, but by no means least is the one thing I was most scared of:

Cheese substitute

The hus-creature persuaded me that a spread type one was the best way to go, and that going straight for one with a strong additional flavour would probably help best to beat my brain into gear. So, here it is:

Interestingly, it’s the same brand as the first yoghurt I’ve tried and we should note that I did like it. I hadn’t noticed when I chose it though 🤣😂

Doesn’t look too bad does it? And actually? Yes it’s delicious. I mean I scoffed two liberally coated slices of bread yesterday and had to force myself to put it back in the fridge. This tub? Cost six dollars. But I may indulge in my baguette meal with this and I won’t want to stab my eyes out with a rusty spork.

Overall? A win. It could be so much worse.

I do still need to brave the oat milk on cereal, and *whisper it* chocolate brownie hummus.

Yes. I bought some. Yes I’m a sick and twisted (slightly hypocritical) individual but guess what? I understand it’s purpose now.

I’m still not ready yet though….

Self Care 2019 v. 1.0

I’ve done so many of these that at this point I feel that they should be numbered!

As mentioned, my anxiety is giving me issues. My PCP doesn’t appear receptive to the idea that I know it’s anxiety not depression. Yes, we are considering switching doctors.


But there is major snow with more on the way, the hus-creature is about to be in Seattle for a week, I have concerns about my ongoing prescriptions, and therefore it’s a total PITA to switch right now.


So, I’m trying good old-fashioned ways of dealing for now.

I’ve been going back to the nail salon every two weeks. It’s helping – my nails look pretty and I don’t feel the temptation to gnaw on them quite as much.


I still do – but only once they snag or break. Sadly, with current weather, this happens quite often.


And I got my hair did on Saturday.

This is involved, intricate, and takes roughly five hours.


Which is why it only happens once every four months!


So the “before” shot:

I hate pastels. So having had them attached to my head for the preceding month has been nothing short of torture. So I needed to see them die.

Now, this time my very talented stylist

Samantha Vallery – she works at Hair By Christine in Somerville

didn’t feel the need to bleach everything – and I bow to her expertise. She is the lady who cuts and colours hair professionally after all. If you aren’t going to listen to your damn stylist then why are you there?

Which left this very interesting “in progress” shot:

That dark line just below the pink? That is not a shadow oh no. What that bastarding thing is, is a tidemark of permanent brown dye. That has been on my head since just before I went back to work after having had TT. Let us think about this for a second. The Tiny Tyrant is now three. Three years old. (I know, I can’t believe it either!) So that tidemark is over two years old.

I would very much like it to bugger off now. As would my Sam – she was pulling worse faces than me while doing my new colour 🤣😂 she has declared it her mission to fix it. I do not mind this at all ☺️

We think that by September, what we can’t bleach out (and this colour has outlasted many attempts to shift it) can finally, finally, be cut out. Can’t cut it too soon else I lose a lot of length – and that… just won’t happen.

Else this couldn’t:

Yes, this is my hair for the next four months. I’m in love. It’s beautiful.

Once my roots start growing through again though it’ll make me sad 🤣😂 but with the ombré built in this time, it’s at least easier for me to upkeep it.

And… no blue! I’m really embracing the pink these days.

And the self care hasn’t been limited to purely physical.

In the last month (ie January) I’ve had two bad flare ups of pain – each lasting four days.


Yes yes, I know I need to see the doctor, but see above. I’m also trying to amass data on these new and annoying bouts of pain so that when I inevitably need to see a new doctor, I can at least attempt to bypass the tedious penis-waving (not literally) that will no doubt occur. I mean, what would I know about my body and medical conditions after all right?


And the hus-creature has been worried about me bless him for – as previously documented – he’s a bloody amazing man you know.

So he went foraging. To a shop in Brighton (an 80 minute round trip) and found so many things of joy, beauty and wonder.

Ok so, I loathe Angel Delight. But the rest? Everything is now in my cupboards. I can have hot Ribena – which is my true comfort drink when I’m unwell.

Self care – it’s important y’all.

Many things

It’s been a busy few days.

TT is (whisper it) 100% reliable during the day on the toilet when it comes to doing a wee!

We have also had two days in a row where she has successfully done a poo in the correct place*

We have had no accidents all week thus far.

Night training is not happening, as we are attempting to wean her away from her middle of the night bottle and it’s just cruel to do both at the same time…


That and the one night we tried it she screamed bloody murder, fully woke up, and then actively refused to go back to sleep without said bottle – she won that round!


But she’s doing amazingly – especially when you consider she’s only 26 months old!!

Okay so she doesn’t now need the “cooling” pull ups we bought, or the plastic pants. Bugger. Ah well, we live and learn. And if we hadn’t have bought them, we would have needed them.

Sadly we had a bit of a backslide with #1 Son on the behaviour at school front today. He ran out not once, not twice but five time today, and even ran back into school at pick up time whilst the Mothership was talking to his teacher about the previous five occurrences.

I received an email from her this afternoon confirming that he had had an “emotional” day (stating that no-one would play with him and that he felt that no one loved him 😰) outlining her strategies for helping him tomorrow and giving us a framework to talk to him.


One of the problems is his refusal to accept that other children might just want to play games of their own choosing too – we are working on this…


He has had two more party invites though (one of which is ice skating – but thankfully with options for non skaters) which ought to help a little.

The other is a bouncing party – your guess is as good as ours on that – but that should at least be fun for him.

The lovely H brought up some presents for the kidlets today and he completed one of them

Momma and I are hoping that H will be able to join us on a small night on the town on Saturday.

His reading has come on in leaps and bounds. He actually asked to read with mom when he got home from school!!!!

He still hates writing, so I think that will have to be the next point of focus, but it’s amazing to see how well he is doing.

Mom met up with his teacher on Tuesday afternoon to discuss his progress and ensure that we (mostly her) are not confusing him compared to how they are teaching him in class.

It meant she got to meet his support team, and see his little cubby that they’ve built for him to (effectively) escape into when he gets overwhelmed.

Yes, it is literally a cupboard – it works for him.

He will also be having weekly sessions with his therapist every Tuesday at 07:15 – this means he won’t be too late into school, thus not impacting on his daddy’s work day too much.

As for me? I’m slowly getting back behind the wheel. I’m not great, but at least when I screw up I’m following through and have not (for example) crashed into a roundabout, nor ran a red light, nor turned into oncoming traffic without signalling.


Which are all things I did back in England prior to passing my U.K. licence


So I consider that I am doing okay. I need practice, and I need to pass my theory test (yet again) but I am studying and having gotten through half of the USA equivalent to the Highway Code today.

I’m now exhausted and have an incipient migraine 😂🤣

I also had my second post-op checkup yesterday.

My doctor is very pleased with my progress. I am to increase my doing of things, though not to lift anything heavier than a gallon until I’m the full six weeks post-surgery.

He does however want me to break up with dairy 🙀🙀🙀

(I mentioned I wanted to lose weight)

At the moment dairy and I are merely agreeing to see other people 😂🤣

I can cope with losing chocolate but not my cheese. And I’m trying to work out what I could put in my tea instead of cow’s milk.

But I’m going to try.

He next wants to see me in six months, and this appointment is already booked 😱

Mom and I also went up to knitting group yesterday and had much fun 👍🏻


*With many apologies to the non-parents in my audience, this sort of thing is big news when you are a stay at home parent!

Two weeks post-op

Well, 15 days really.

I am 99% off the Percocet, and I have a few tablets left. I’m not being a hero, I’m still taking ibuprofen but only when it’s not “stinging/burning in the incision” pain – because let’s face it, pills won’t help with that, so why take them?

I’ve had some ups and downs but as long as I take frequent rest breaks I’m doing okay.

I am wearing clothes* – and it’s amazing how good that feels. Socks still cause me issues, but the hus-creature is helping me out there.

I even took my binder off yesterday to sleep, and I’ve not put it back on!!!!

Yes it stings a bit so I’m monitoring and assessing, but it had gone from “oh my goodness I love this and I am never taking it off” to scratchy and irritating so we are seeing how we go.

I even managed to make the kids some lunch yesterday!

Our weekend was lovely. From Friday to yesterday we had a visit from the lovely Diana who has been momma’s friend for years 😁

So on Saturday they both went into Boston to do the tourist thing and paint the town red.

Sadly the duck boat wasn’t an option because of frozen rivers – it’s still bloody cold here.

They didn’t get home til after 9 ok – dirty stop outs 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

I kid, I kid, I was actually thrilled mom got some decent time to enjoy herself free from my kids and in adult company.

We all had a lovely time, and I’m hoping she will visit again in the summer 👍🏻😁

There was actual snow on Sunday – mom has been looking forward to big snow. It’s mostly almost melted again already.

Today they children have been playing nicely together.

This is #1 Son showing TT that his Halloween mask isn’t scary 💕💕💕

He is on schoool holidays for the rest of the week – send gin!!!

No, he’s been amazing, and is actually doing some reading and writing practice.


We have discovered if we reward bribe him with chocolate/candy after a certain amount of work he is much more receptive – whatever works!!!!


TT is being stubborn about potty training, but we will get there!

*Nothing fancy – just leggings and a t-shirt but hey, it’s clothes

A slight backslide today

Maybe I overdid it. Maybe this is normal. But I feel rotten. My stomach is sore and crampy, and my incision hurts a bit.

I have sent the hus-creature to make me a hot water bottle whilst I hide in bed. He is happy to do this. He has also made me a cup of tea and brushed my hair 💗💕

He is a lovely man person 😘

Poor old TT has had a bit of a rotten day too. She is severely constipated right now 😰 So the Mothership and I are putting our heads together to find ways of sneaking more fibre into her. I am deeply sympathetic to the poor wee thing.

#1 Son came home with a Valentine he made for me:

I’m not crying – you’re crying.

He’s so proud of it too 💕

Post Operative Check – Part the First

And happy Commercial Romance Day!

The hus-creature got me a lovely card and Haribo Gold Bears 💗💗💗


A few of which were used to bribe TT to use the potty 🙄


And while I was asleep this morning he also sent me this:

My heart and my world. 💕

My own daddy knocked it out of the park too by sending my Momma some gorgeous chocolate covered strawberries – great job dad 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Me? I got the hus-creature a mug. See, he has developed a major taste for coffee, and needed his own* mug to take to the office

I got him the one on the right, rather than the pink one 🤣😂

And at 15:30 today (well roughly anyway) I toddled (slowly) up to see my surgeon for my first post-op checkup.

I cannot believe I am only 9 days post. Comparatively I feel great. I thought he was insane to send me home when he did, but he was right.


And yes, I did say that to his face today 🤣😂


He very carefully checked me over, with minimal prodding. My incision is healing fantastically apparently.

He removed the first set of steri-strips, replaced them with a mere two, and has given me orders to clean the area with hydrogen peroxide solution twice a day.

Yes Sir, Dr. Witkowski *salutes sharply*

I am doing exactly what he tells me, because as far as I am concerned, this man is my hero. He has given me a life.

I saw my pathology reports. My insides were indeed a mess. Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, my tubes blocked and scarring up the wazoo.

Most tellingly was my cervix, which was still flagging abnormal cells. But he is confident that he got it all. There’s no need to worry (direct quote there).

He is glad he took everything away. Looks like I was at risk of developing cervical cancer later but no cancer of any sort detected anywhere at all. So all good there.

He wants to see me again in two weeks. The six week ban on all things remains in place, and I am to continue gradually increasing my exercise levels.

Oh, and I’ve lost three pounds.

And only 0.5lb of that was interval organs!!!

I’m counting that as a win!!!

*After sadly breaking a cool one of mine mumble

One week post surgery

It was oh so tempting to write post-partum there 😂🤣

I’m doing really well considering. If you had asked me last week if I’d be up and about daily (though in really short bursts) I would have tried to either smack or strangle you.

My pain levels are overall lower than they were – though by no means gone. As long as I wake up between 5-6am to take a pain pill I’m comfortable. I’m only on one Percocet at a time (plus the ibuprofen) so I think I’m doing really well.

Had a shower last night (first one since I got home, but I did have one in the hospital!) and it totally wiped me out.

I’m still crash-napping for an hour or so at a time, which is having a bit of an effect on my circadian rhythms, but honestly right now I think it’s the equivalent of “sleep when the baby sleeps”.

I’m eating proper food without issue, though my appetite is still greatly reduced (no bad thing) and prune juice is still very much my friend.

I’m walking much easier though sitting upright is still too uncomfortable after five minutes or so.

Physically getting up or lying down is the worst of it right now, that plus coughing or laughing.

Overall though, I’m recuperating rather well I feel.

Just wish I had the headspace to pick up my needles or hooks.

Insert Clever Title Here

So, I have been home 24 hours.

Momma is amazing and is (as I hoped knew) whipping my children into shape. She brooks no crapulence* and the Tiny Tyrant doesn’t seem to have realised what has hit her!!!

(I’m not loving it at all oh no 😂🤣)

Things That Have Been Achieved:

  • She has sorted out my house – and I am so grateful. It’s hard to see the wood from the trees with small people underfoot. It wasn’t a mess when she arrived, but there is now significant organisation!
  • She has pushed the children’s respective bedtimes back by an hour – and they are not waking up earlier!!!!
  • TT’s tantrums and attempts at manipulating Mommy-Nanny (her name for my mom) are mostly met with a raised eyebrow or a laugh – and the affront is hilarious
  • #1 Son is eating new things! I cannot begin to describe the relief. Today as a “just got home from school” snack he ate three rounds of cheese spread and turkey ham sandwiches and then at dinner time ate: pasta (plain with some butter and grated cheese), cucumber, and chopped up frankfurters. Okay, he didn’t eat the carrot but we didn’t expect any so this is amazing!!! TT will eat regular food if she isn’t distracted, but this is such an amazing occurrence.

Basically, as my Mothership has seen it all before and hasn’t lived with them, (and therefore beyond the SEN concerns with #1 Son) doesn’t have my “tried it, it won’t work” fears, we are losing nothing by trying. And really its mostly TT – #1 Son is a good boy at heart and not a demon wearing human skin 😂🤣

Today I have managed to get up and have a little wander four times. The remaining post-surgical wall has been breached** and I have only taken two doses of Motrin and one of Percocet (and if it continues this well, I have hopes of not finishing my Percocet prescription.)

I learned a lot from my laparoscopies, and the main thing was DON’T BLOODY OVERDO IT

So, as yet I have picked up nothing heavier than my phone, the 3DS or the Switch. I have attempted to knit/crochet through the power of my mind, but sadly my powers of telekinesis remain dormant.

I also have only napped in two 1-hour stretches as I want to sleep at night!

I received this beautiful bouquet from my in laws today:

Flowers

THANK YOU 😘😘😘😘😘

And my knitting group have banded together to bring me meals every so often over the next week or so – home cooked at that! Tonight’s was vegetarian lasagne and this confirmed carnivore thought it was delicious 👍🏻

*My Daddy coined that term in a phone call earlier this week 😂🤣

**This is my polite way of indicating I managed a #2

Home again, home again

So, I have been discharged and am safely snuggled in my own bed.

I can’t say I’m 100% comfortable but I have 19/20 Percocet pills left (which I am only taking before attempting a stretch of sleep) and Motrin, which appears to simply be extra strong ibuprofen, so we have that too.

The kids were thrilled to see me 😊 well #1 Son has been asking what he can do to help me 💕💕 (I’ve told him that helping Nanny is best).

The beam I got from TT was worth it, though she soon stopped speaking to me when she realised I can’t pick her up.

Unimpressed toddler is unimpressed.

Today (Wednesday) marked 100 days at school for the year for #1 Son, which is apparently a thing to celebrate over here, so they were to go into school looking 100.

The facial expression seems apt, even though it was based on “not wanting to go to school because he wanted mommy”


Oh, and that TT had dared to start eating breakfast before him…


He wanted to visit today, but it was snowing heavily, an early release from school day, and I was being discharged anyway, so daddy distracted him with The Lego Batman Movie and brought me home.

Tackling those stairs was not fun, so I will not be booking my follow up early. (I need to see Dr. Witkowski on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week).

The cat has been the one to jump on my belly, and appears most affronted that she got almost flung across the room for that cuddle attempt.

I’m going to go to sleep now, adieu dear audience.