Not a title I ever thought I’d write 🙀
And no, I’m not truly vegan at all, but I had already noticed, not even really a week into these new food restrictions, that “vegan friendly” alternatives are my best bet to satiate dairy cravings.
I’m yet to try the solid “cheese” options, but so far I have under my belt:
- Cashew milk
- Coconut and almond creamer
- Oat based “non dairy frozen dessert”
- Coconut based “non dairy frozen dessert”
- Strawberry “yogurt” – made with almond milk
- Vanilla rice crispie treats
- Chocolate rice crispie treats
- Vegan butter alternative
- One cream cheese style spread
So, I thought I would start (potentially) a series of review posts, as I explore life post anything fun.
Okay yes that is a tad dramatic I know, but it’s how it feels goddammit 🤣😂
Reviews Session 1:
So, buckle up my buttercups and let’s start with the…
Coconut and almond creamer
In a word? Vile. I picked it up because I had previously tried soy and (I think) rice milk in my tea back before and during the hysterectomy period and they were thin and horrid. So I assumed that maybe the viscosity was the problem and tried this.
That’s a no from me. I made a single cup of tea, drank it, and threw the rest of the carton in the bin. It was sweet and all kinds of wrong.
See, I’m an oddity (stop giggling at the back there) I like my tea strong. And not sweet. I basically describe it as;
Builder’s tea but hold the sugar
Which generally translates as: if the spoon stands up by itself? Then we are good.
And the problem with a significant amount of these “milk alternatives”? They are sweetened. Or at least way too sweet for my tea palette.
So my hus-creature, who as I may have mentioned is fairly gosh-darned awesome, did a little research for me and came upon this very informative blog post about milk alternatives for tea drinkers.
So we scrubbed the creamer alternative from the list, and moved on to:
I know right? How do you milk a nut? Well I’ve also been asking how you milk peas etc and I am still none the wiser 😂🤣
And honestly? As previously noted, cashew milk has been the best that I’ve tried so far. It makes my tea approximately 80% acceptable to my palette. Which is fine. I’ll go with that. It nothing else, it’s cut down on my consumption a little as there is still a slight aftertaste of “something weird and nutty where there should not be nuts” but I will be making a concerted effort to retrain my palette. It’s just going to take time.
So that’s a tick in the plus column. Oh and as it stays “good for drinking” for 7-10 days post opening if kept refrigerated? It’s not as much of a money sink as some of them.
Seriously, only one week in, and the sheer cost of these things is mind-blowing. So anything that has a vaguely decent shelf life is vital.
School Safe Marshmallow Bars
I’m supposed to be cutting all added sugar out of my diet too but come on. That in theory means I’m not supposed to eat too much fruit either. And mostly that is solving my sugar cravings. However, I’m also a sucker for Rice Krispie treats and these were a dairy-free equivalent.
No, they aren’t marked as vegan but they are good. More specifically, the chocolate chip one is delicious. The vanilla one?
The consistency is all “off” and honestly does not taste of vanilla. All in all? To quote the great Prue Leith
Not worth the calories
I mean there’s only 90 of them but still. Also not worth the cost. All in all? Won’t be buying the vanilla ones again.
Next up is
Strawberry Almond Milk Yoghurt
Now, there will be a few of these in the days to come, as I am trying different bases (of the milk substitute) and different brands so first up is
So, as you might imagine, I’m more than a little suspicious of non dairy products of this nature, but I’m a game girl so here we go…
On first look I thought
Oh no, I hate “set” yoghurts
And it’s true, Greek style never ever appealed to me. Also the separation liquid always queases me out a touch. However, then I remembered a nifty little trick from when I was much much smaller.
You just take your spoon and stir like a complete maniac.
Et voila – smooth, unseparated yoghurt 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
And honestly? It truly was very tasty. I would happily eat this one again. I couldn’t tell any difference between this and a “normal” strawberry yoghurt. So this one gets a big thumbs up ☺️
Moving on from fridge to freezer:
Frozen Non-Dairy Desserts
I’ve tried two varieties thus far:
I needed something to deal with lack of chocolate, so the hus-creature picked this one from the coconut base end of the spectrum. Honestly?
I was underwhelmed. I mean, yes it had chocolate flavour, but not enough. Once I broke through enough to get to some of the “chocolate hazelnut swirl” it became acceptable at best.
But it does at least look the part. Next up we have:
The oat milk mint chip variety. I actually tried this one first, as I thought that it wouldn’t upset my pre-conceived ideas of ice cream too much. As it turned out, I was right. This one was pretty darned delicious.
I mean, in the interest of giving a truly honest review, it’s consistency was slightly off, and there’s definitely a porridge-like aftertaste, but overall? A darned good attempt at ice cream made from oats of all things. The chips tasted of bitter chocolate and were a pretty good size and texture and the mint wasn’t overwhelming. I most definitely preferred this to the previous one.
I’m not yet feeling brave enough to venture too far outside of my usual flavour profile comfort zone, but this weekend’s grocery shop has netted me two more varieties to try – one of which is Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia in non-dairy which is a firm favourite of old, so I shall report back later once I have sampled.
And finally, two truly acid tests
Butter substitute #1
I was (and still am really) highly suspicious of all of these. And I drew the goddamn line at “I can’t believe it’s not butter” no really those adverts are stuck in my head from years ago and no I’m not encouraging that. Just no.
But this? Well it looked the part:
However, please note the description? See where it says whipped? Nope. It’s not. It’s rock solid straight from the fridge. However, it does have a consistency that allows me to scrape not-butter-curls to allow me to spread it on toast:
And honestly? It’s a bloody good facsimile of butter. I’ve eaten almost all of this week’s half loaf of Artisanal Bread
Oh dear god what have I become?
Is this now me?!?!?
So last, but by no means least is the one thing I was most scared of:
The hus-creature persuaded me that a spread type one was the best way to go, and that going straight for one with a strong additional flavour would probably help best to beat my brain into gear. So, here it is:
Interestingly, it’s the same brand as the first yoghurt I’ve tried and we should note that I did like it. I hadn’t noticed when I chose it though 🤣😂
Doesn’t look too bad does it? And actually? Yes it’s delicious. I mean I scoffed two liberally coated slices of bread yesterday and had to force myself to put it back in the fridge. This tub? Cost six dollars. But I may indulge in my baguette meal with this and I won’t want to stab my eyes out with a rusty spork.
Overall? A win. It could be so much worse.
I do still need to brave the oat milk on cereal, and *whisper it* chocolate brownie hummus.
Yes. I bought some. Yes I’m a sick and twisted (slightly hypocritical) individual but guess what? I understand it’s purpose now.
I’m still not ready yet though….