June 2019 – Melrose Mom-ing

The First Day of Summer Camp

Which is what we are calling the “Summer Learning Academy” which is a 6 week long, 4 day a week (except the week of Independence Day 😂🤣) for Elementary aged kiddos with IEPs.

#1 Son is enrolled and it started today.

Last year he was put on the fast track side for education. This year they will be focusing on the social side of it.

He’s actually got a specific slot every Tuesday for it, which is great!

That wasn’t too successful, as he resented having to redo Kindergarten work. Now today when I picked him up?

Came running out with a big smile 😍

Now, admittedly it’s only Day 1, and we’ve just had a pretty decent family vacation, but I’m taking that as a positive sign.

Also, given he read an entire story to his sister first thing this morning, and did a reasonable amount of additional reading in class today, he’s thrilled to be told he doesn’t have to do more today 😂🤣

So, since it’s being held 8-12 at the most local school, which is next to our usual playground, I’ve decided to let them both spend an hour or so (depending on weather) in said playground to burn off some energy.

You never know, it might help with the whole “herd of elephants” issue 🙄🙄🙄

Apartment Life

Can suck. Suck utter balls.

We live on the first floor. The landlady lives above on the second floor.

Around December last year, after significant unpleasantness, new neighbours moved in downstairs on the ground floor.

I took down soup and apologised in advance as I have two children, one of whom is around full time.

Everything seemed fine.

While we were away, one of said neighbours complained to the landlady that:

The children run around so much it shakes the light fittings.

Now I admit, my children can be… boisterous… but no more so than any other 3 and 7 year old pair of siblings.

In fact, #1 Son, when left to his own devices, is perfectly happy snuggled in his room with his tablet.

So I was mortified. Since I thought we had dealt with this issue last year.

Apparently there were issues with doors slamming. We put large rubber bands over the relevant door handles and the problems went away

However, more information has just come to light. The landlady and her partner came to do some light maintenance (with about four hours notice this time 🙄) and the topic came up.

Side note: if you’ve never had kids do not try and discipline someone else’s thank you very much. Yes the landlady attempted to talk to TT and #1 Son about the excessive noise and, rather unsurprisingly, was ignored.

However, as it turns out, downstairs have set up a Meditation Room and have placed it under my kid’s bedrooms.

I’m more than willing to work with my neighbours, but that? That is taking the piss.

Fortunately, the landlady’s partner has grandchildren. He understands kids. She is child free, and kind of seems to view children as little aliens/a different species. Which is fair, but I am not hobbling my kids. They are entitled to live in their homes.

And though I would never put it like this – we were here first. They saw us all leaving the house en masse on the day they viewed the property. So they knowingly rented an apartment where they knew there were kids living upstairs.

So, there have been discussions of what can be done. The landlady and partner have suggested they will buy large Ikea rugs for the relevant rooms.

I’m not footing the bill for it. Rugs are a bastard to keep clean.

And I have suggested (and will follow through with) buying slippers for the kids. I have no problem with that.

But I have stated, on record, that while I will happily have “no running in the house” as a rule (indeed have been trying to institute that since we moved in) I am not stopping my kids from playing in the place where they live.

TT is in bed before 7pm, #1 Son before 8pm. That is not unreasonable. I am not putting their lives on hold for a Meditation Room.

I will not be shitty about it, we all need to live together, but I have my limits. I know my kids well, including their flaws, and they are not as bad as is being made out.

Mama Dinosaur mode has been engaged.

Great Wolf Lodge – Part the First

So, after a lot of stress from various home quarters we are here. It’s… impressive.

I’ve never been to Butlins or Centre Parcs, but honestly? I cannot see how it could be better.

Check in was at 4pm, but from 1pm you can have access to the water parks! Also, as everything is indoor, it’s warm and non weather-dependent.

Cue two ecstatic small children.

We basically splashed, slid, swam, and played for two hours whilst our room was gotten ready.

#1 Son went down massive water slides – a major improvement on last summer; and TT is, basically, a fish.

So far we have only explored half of the area, but even in the small swimming area there’s several flumes, slides and a current area for rubber rings (provided) and swimming.

#1 Son went round that by himself. Obviously the hus-creature stayed in the general vicinity, but he didn’t need us, which is fantastic.

Basically we split into two teams – one parent with one child, and TT is basically my shadow whenever she is unsure of her surroundings

And, amazingly, TT wanted a go. So around and around we went, occasionally switching children, because my god is it tiring even with TT in a floatie.

As for the room itself? We are in the classification known as Wolf Den which is standard for a family of 4.

The kids have a little enclosed nook with a bunk bed,

Yes there was a power struggle for the top bunk, no we didn’t allow TT to win it!

And their own little tv – which we have tuned in to Cartoon Network and have declared it done. But honestly? I don’t anticipate us using it much. There’s just so much to do here.

We’ve paid for two premium packages:

Wolf Pass

significant

Unlimited rock climbing
One game of mini golf
One game of bowling
One Harry Potteresque game that he and I will do together – he gets a wand and there’s loads of interactive stations all around the resort (I’ve already seen teenagers playing it 🙀)

doesn’t

So what did she choose? Out of all of the options available to her?

Yup, not any of the bears, nor even the rainbow sloth? Nope. A shark. A bloody shark 🤣😂🤣😂

She even named it:

Yes, she’s a girl shark, called Misty. Yep, I have not one, but two Pokémon obsessed children 🤣😂

Some of the things that they both have access to include:

A free 12oz candy cup – which we paid an extra $2 each to upgrade to a 16oz – #1 Son appears not to like jelly beans though 😖🙄
A free scoop of ice cream, which we’ve yet to cash in on.
20 free “paw points” to spend in the arcade.
A pair of GWL branded goggles each, which we will claim tomorrow.

And for anyone wondering why we upgraded the candy:

It’s been an amazing day, with 4 more to go!

Both kids are exhausted, and so are we to be honest 🤣😂

However, the room sharing has not gone as well as hoped, though no worse than feared, so the plan tomorrow is simply to wear them out as much as possible.

And I admit, both the hus-creature and myself are already in our pjs. For once we ate dinner at the same time as the kids, and we are settled in for the night. I will be astounded if we are both awake beyond 10pm.

We have paid to include food, breakfast is a separate deal, and booze is available.

Sadly our room is right next to the main play area – the rock climbing, mini golf etc so the noise level is high, but it’s closed by 22:30 and it does appear to be tailing off already.

And as a just because:

Father’s Day 2019

And other stories.

The hus-creature doesn’t tend to see the point of “Hallmark Holidays”, but after almost 2 decades together, understands that they are important to me.

He’s also impossible to surprise. No, honest to god, this has been a bone of contention in our marriage.

I, on the other hand, am oblivious enough that I failed to notice a Playstation 4, in plain sight for over two months.

I wish I were joking – alas, I am not 😳🙄😳🙄

So, how was I going to celebrate the upcoming Father’s Day? Well, for once? I WON!!!!

These arrived on Thursday:

Why yes, yes those would be bacon jerky roses. A dozen of them. Dipped in dark chocolate.

Yes, they lived in the fridge until this morning (and were in fact returned there) and he didn’t peek. The sealed silver Jiffy bag probably helped 🤣😂

He’s not opened them yet, as we head to Great Wolf Lodge tomorrow afternoon and there’s the usual “consume within 3 days” warning, so I shall try and remember to report back once they have been tried and assessed.

He had no idea. At all. He obviously knew it was something edible, but hadn’t even come close to speculating correctly.

The kids thought they were great – #1 Son found the concept of “edible flowers” hilarious, and he knows daddy loves bacon. And TT? She just wished daddy a happy birthday and handed over the gift card 🤣😂

Summer is here!

Annnnnd it’s raining. Because of course it is.

Fortunately yesterday was the last day of school and it was a half day.

We have graduated from First Grade. From this:

To this:

And honestly I could just burst with pride. He’s come along so well. I’ve read his end of year school reports and nearly sobbed. This has been the best thing we could have done for the kiddos.

So, anyway once #1 Son was safely deposited and lunch consumed, I decided to take them to the park – as a quick check of the weather app on my phone pre-informed me of the utterly shocking weather we were due to have today.

They had such fun. #1 Son was playing appropriately with other kiddos, and TT was mostly following around after;

“playing with the other one childrens”

While I knitted.

Yes, while they played, I worked on finishing a project I’ve had on the needles for almost two years. ADHD is such fun when you’re a crafter 🥺

Sadly it wasn’t all fun and games – when it came to going home for dinner, TT reminded me forcefully why going out is such a faff.

And that I should never, ever, forget (or choose not to use) the goddamn stroller 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I had to literally drag her home kicking and screaming – much to #1 Son’s chagrin. But it’s okay, we will work on that. After all, we go away for five days on Monday. I’m sure it will be absolutely fine….

Right? Right?

And, not to toot my own horn, but it’s Day 1 of the summer vacation and we’ve done all the “required reading”, ticked off four of the options for Summer Reading Bingo

Yes this is a thing, no I am not joking…

And made a start on the Math lessons – which are separate to the Summer Reading and Math logs…

I’ve got to wonder how long we will be able to keep that up…

Everyday Sexism

We all know it’s a thing. But I think we tend to assume that it is purely levelled at women.

But no, allow me to share a little anecdote from today’s little trip to the mall.

So, we had a very fury-inducing experience in TJ Max this afternoon.

I was trying on swimming costumes (we are going to Boston’s Great Wolf Lodge – a water park type thing in 8 days!) so the hus-creature was watching the kids – they were just puttering around together in the relevant aisles.

Apparently whilst I was pouting over ridiculousness in sizing labels;

Seriously how do three suits in the same size all fit so differently – two didn’t fit at all and one swamped me 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

A Mall Security Guard came over to him to apparently assess an “unmonitored children” situation.

May I remind you, dear audience, that their FATHER was with them – in close proximity.

We do NOT leave our children unattended in department stores.

I mean seriously? We would leave TT unattended?!?!? The bill we’d be handed would be hospital level large.

And indeed #1 Son just tends to find somewhere to sit/stand quietly nowadays until we are done. So it’s just TT who needs active chasing about these days.

Apparently when said security guard got close enough to realise that there was indeed a (penis owning) adult present he started stammering:

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are these YOUR children?”

“I was concerned… well not *concerned* but they seemed…”

And other equally backtracking and ridiculous phrases.

Initially, I thought that either he took it upon himself to worry because there were children *not being attended to by a female* OR someone reported it, because OBVIOUSLY they wouldn’t be with the MALE adult in their vicinity. He must be a random stranger. Couldn’t possibly be their DAD right?!?!?

The hus-creature filled in the blanks for me a bit later**: it was apparently a middle aged white lady (with the stereotypical “I want to speak to your manager” hair) who reported my kids being with their dad as requiring security intervention.

Allow me to repeat this: she flagged down mall security on a pair of kids who had their dad with them.

Apparently these women (usually known colloquially as Karen’s) don’t just want to insist you work somewhere when you don’t and then get you fired.

And afterwards? She merely dismissed the (somewhat befuddled I suspect) security guard and carried on browsing the shelves.

I am now even more fucking furious. And given I know some lovely Karen’s do not wish to refer to her by that moniker – therefore I dub her…. Ethel.

Fuck. You. Ethel.

I find myself outraged at this.

Why the FUCK would he not be their dad?

So yes, everyday sexism doesn’t just affect those of us who are female.

Oh and while I’m here:

Its not babysitting when you’re the dad – it’s parenting your own damn kids.

Also – put baby changing stations in male bathrooms in shops and restaurants.

Ok my semi political ranting is done. We will return to the usual family life posts imminently – I need to recount the birthday party.

As there are no photos today have a gif of some puppies as a palate cleanser:

**I suspect for everyone’s safety and sanity – I was angry enough at the time. God alone knows what I might have said if I’d known she was still there