Everyday Sexism

We all know it’s a thing. But I think we tend to assume that it is purely levelled at women.

But no, allow me to share a little anecdote from today’s little trip to the mall.

So, we had a very fury-inducing experience in TJ Max this afternoon.

I was trying on swimming costumes (we are going to Boston’s Great Wolf Lodge – a water park type thing in 8 days!) so the hus-creature was watching the kids – they were just puttering around together in the relevant aisles.

Apparently whilst I was pouting over ridiculousness in sizing labels;


Seriously how do three suits in the same size all fit so differently – two didn’t fit at all and one swamped me 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️


A Mall Security Guard came over to him to apparently assess an “unmonitored children” situation.

May I remind you, dear audience, that their FATHER was with them – in close proximity.

We do NOT leave our children unattended in department stores.

I mean seriously? We would leave TT unattended?!?!? The bill we’d be handed would be hospital level large.

And indeed #1 Son just tends to find somewhere to sit/stand quietly nowadays until we are done. So it’s just TT who needs active chasing about these days.

Apparently when said security guard got close enough to realise that there was indeed a (penis owning) adult present he started stammering:

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are these YOUR children?”

“I was concerned… well not *concerned* but they seemed…”

And other equally backtracking and ridiculous phrases.

Initially, I thought that either he took it upon himself to worry because there were children *not being attended to by a female* OR someone reported it, because OBVIOUSLY they wouldn’t be with the MALE adult in their vicinity. He must be a random stranger. Couldn’t possibly be their DAD right?!?!?

The hus-creature filled in the blanks for me a bit later**: it was apparently a middle aged white lady (with the stereotypical “I want to speak to your manager” hair) who reported my kids being with their dad as requiring security intervention.

Allow me to repeat this: she flagged down mall security on a pair of kids who had their dad with them.

Apparently these women (usually known colloquially as Karen’s) don’t just want to insist you work somewhere when you don’t and then get you fired.

And afterwards? She merely dismissed the (somewhat befuddled I suspect) security guard and carried on browsing the shelves.

I am now even more fucking furious. And given I know some lovely Karen’s do not wish to refer to her by that moniker – therefore I dub her…. Ethel.

Fuck. You. Ethel.

I find myself outraged at this.

Why the FUCK would he not be their dad?

So yes, everyday sexism doesn’t just affect those of us who are female.

Oh and while I’m here:

Its not babysitting when you’re the dad – it’s parenting your own damn kids.

Also – put baby changing stations in male bathrooms in shops and restaurants.

Ok my semi political ranting is done. We will return to the usual family life posts imminently – I need to recount the birthday party.

As there are no photos today have a gif of some puppies as a palate cleanser:


**I suspect for everyone’s safety and sanity – I was angry enough at the time. God alone knows what I might have said if I’d known she was still there

Author: Fliss

Wife, mum (of two), yarn-obsessed cat-slave

2 thoughts on “Everyday Sexism”

  1. This amusing anecdote suggests that the USA are behind us on that score. And are moving even further behind with their attacks on abortion rights. So let’s hope Trump does not get re-elected!

    1. It wouldn’t have been so amusing had the guard not instantly realised he was their dad.

      How do you prove your kids are yours? We don’t carry all of our passports and their birth certificates as standard.

      If he had been arrested that could have completely scuppered our Green Card applications – could have ended in us being deported.

      That Ethel could have ruined our lives because she didn’t believe kids could be supervised by a man.

      I’m sure I will laugh eventually. But right now I firmly wish for the fleas of 10,000 camels to infest her underwear drawer.

      May she also always step on Lego. Barefoot.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *