The realities of chronic illness

I have endometriosis. It is a chronic, mostly invisible, illness.

This is permanent. There is no cure. There’s nothing I can do to be “better”. It’s never going to go away.

And it’s exhausting. It’s debilitating. And it’s fucking frustrating.

We were going to go to the beach today. Except that I woke up in flare up hell so we’ve had to cancel/postpone.


The worst part of this is that I knew it was coming yesterday but I pretended it wasn’t because I believed that I could control my body through sheer force of will. Guess what? I can’t.


Fortunately we hadn’t told the kids the plan, so they AREN’T disappointed but I am. I’m just devastated.

This is actually the very first time I’ve had to cancel big plans for the kids due to pain (which is pretty bloody good I guess) and it’s had me in floods of tears today.

I’m so so SICK of being sick.

I’ve done everything I could, I’ve opted for surgery that was no goddamn cake walk, and one that has left me unable to have more children of my own should I want them.


Don’t mistake me, I’m grateful to have my babies, but the choice was denied to me. And even now, when I am at peace with the decision, sometimes that pisses me off.


And what is left to me? Nothing.  There’s nothing that anyone can feasibly offer me, because I’ve done the two things that non specialist medicals claim should cure it:

1. Have a baby

Welp, let’s unpack and examine that one further shall we? My condition was only discovered after #1 Son was born.  So, guess what?

HAVING A BABY DOES NOT CURE ENDOMETRIOSIS

I’m going to say that one more time for the people at the back there in the ‘Medical Community’

HAVING A BABY DOES NOT CURE ENDOMETRIOSIS

Or, if it somehow improved it in any noticeable way, I bloody dread to think how utterly, utterly screwed up my insides were before I conceived him.

But then along came TT, and my surgeon here who performed my hysterectomy? Isn’t even remotely surprised that I’m in flare-up 5 (well it was 4 when I saw him last month). Because, and I quote,

I saw your insides. They are a complete mess.

And that was the most recent examination of them – nobody else had actually seen them post-TT arrival.

So before I go into the prescribed treatment options, let us discuss the other ‘cure’ that the so-called medical community loves to throw out there.

2. A Hysterectomy

Please excuse me while I die of hysterical laughter.

Because, you see, considering that a very considerable sub-sect of the medical profession considers this procedure to be the Holy Grail for us Endo Warriors, they make it practically impossible for us to achieve it.

First, there’s the age-old

What if you want more children

Well now Doctor Smart Ass, if you have looked at my goddamn charts you will have seen that the two I do have are literal unexplained medical miracles.

I have replaced myself and my husband, so I’ve fulfilled any kind of biological imperative that there is in the assumed social contract.

Three, if I ever seriously do take that particular blow to the head, then hell there is always adoption.

Four, yes you know what, when I was younger I did want three children. I’m one of three. To me that was the “correct” number. But that was before. Before I learned how bloody difficult parenting truly is, and before I learned that my chances of having one child, let alone three were slim-to-none.

So I’ve heard various iterations of that particular stream of bullshit but that’s not the worst of it. Not by a long chalk. The worst one? The one that has had me incandescent with rage? The one that has had me questioning what century I’m living in?

But what if your husband wants more children?

Or:

What if your husband leaves you?

Followed by

Then what if you meet a new man and he wants children of his own?

Firstly what the fuck? What Handmaid’s Tale level of sexist, misogynistic bullshit is this?

Am I really, truly only worth the potential contents of my uterus? In 2018 (when I had the surgery)?

Secondly? If the hus-creature did leave me right now? Today? I would have much bigger problems than the potential for no children with any hypothetical new partner.

I would be being deported. So yeah, that was so far beyond my scope of worry it’s bloody laughable.

Also, my husband? Not a huge kid person. He married me knowing _I_ wanted kids, and so agreed to have two but he would have been perfectly happy being SINK/DINK so three? Nah. That wouldn’t have been on the table. Which is fine. Men get choices here too.

So I went ahead with the surgery.

Now let’s discuss that particular set of thorny problems.

I wanted a complete hysterectomy. Everything. Out.

My attitude:

Now, it took over a year of begging and pleading to be put on the blasted waiting list when we were in the U.K. having been informed it was six months for the surgery I wanted, they kept me hanging for almost an additional year, and my operation came through for a month after we emigrated.

Now I will never, ever, criticise the NHS. It’s an amazing system, the U.K. is lucky to have it but in some ways it very much lets people down.

Those of us with chronic conditions? Both physical and mental? Yeah we slip through the cracks.

I do comfort myself with the thought that me cancelling that surgery must have allowed some other equally desperate woman to have hers sooner than she had hoped.

So I came out here, met my awesome surgeon who pretty much agreed (after reading my stack of medical records) that I needed the surgery.

But even then I had to plead for the total. He wanted to leave my cervix in at least.

I did not wish to remain a high-risk candidate for cervical cancer. However once I pointed that out he agreed.


However every single time I go to see him he does ask if we left it in there – this does not fill me with confidence


So I did it. I documented it. I had 11 months of freedom.

Now it’s back. And getting worse. And I’m not sure what is left for me to do. He has some ideas, there’s some treatments upcoming – but I’ve got no spare organs left.

There’s nothing else he can cut out. I’m not ready for a colostomy bag – and anyway he’s an OBGYN not a Gastro Doctor so if there’s more in my guts it’s going to need more referrals and arguments with insurance companies


We just got the bill for my “sick visit” last month – insurance companies don’t pay for those here. They did negotiate a lower rate but it’s still $160+


And did I mention I’m tired?

Tired of being the ill one. Tired of being the strong one. Tired of having to lean on my (amazing) husband time and again. When does he get to be the tired one? Tired of scaring/upsetting/worrying my children. Tired of hearing poor TT saying

Mommy is poorly again

Tired of missing out with #1 Son because it costs too many spoons to sit in the fucking backyard let alone take him to the goddamn playground.

I’m sick of this being my life. I want it to be hyperbole. Not reality.

And I’m scared. Scared for my daughter. Scared for any potential granddaughters.

I’m not taken seriously, the cycle is going to continue. I just pray it skips my girl.

And so the end of Summer Camp

And, as we were leaving? This quote from #1 Son:

It’s going to be a whole year before I come back

Honestly? You could have knocked me down with a feather.

He’s grown so much. His progress report has him so much improved from Week 1 to Week 6 that I could just burst with pride.

His teacher was full of praise for him

#1 Son is a child with a lot of love to give

She also noted that Math is his strongest subject, but that he needs to continue with daily reading aloud practice to maintain fluency.

You can imagine his joy with that 🤣😂

I also got to go in to get him an hour early on Thursday to see what he had been doing, and to watch the children put on two plays.

He was in The Three Little Pigs and he played The Big Bad Wolf. And he did so, so well. He only got a little overexcited at the third “act” and did his bit over the narrator. But the other little pigs just rolled with it- so it was only the narrator herself I ended up feeling sorry for.

Then we were shown examples of their “Persuasive Writing”

And my son?

Where the other children had written statements and arguments about why they should be allowed a puppy? (Or at the very least a bunny?)

My little socialist is trying to persuade his teachers that they need a recess.

He was also the only kid in his class to receive a certificate for 100% attendance. Which I struggle to understand, but a. It’s a free programme and b. The sheer cost of summer vacations of any sort more than triples in August.

But it’s a programme run for kids with IEPs, so in my opinion it’s beneficial for them to attend the full 5 weeks (and change)

However I can see why it might not happen, and I’m pleased his perseverance was acknowledged.

And I very much hope all the teachers who have given up so much of their summer now have a very well-deserved break!!!!!

Taming the beast

And by this I mean purely TT’s hair 🤣😂

The hus-creature and I disagree on her hair muchly.

This is his belief:

Whereas I see it more like this:

The truth? Is probably somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, a bone of contention is “Baby’s First Haircut”.

Now please let it be known that I am actually not totally averse to her having a trim. I just don’t want her hair as short as her brother’s!

I mean, since she’s never had it cut, it’s all over the place length-wise and it’s fine to the point of unmanageably flyaway – but it’s so pretty.

But as a result, it’s bloody hard to keep neat. Loose is…. not possible. Not when she persists in still getting food everywhere at every meal 🙄 She also hates having tangles brushed out, so no, we don’t wear it loose unless (and until) the band(s) fall out.


And did I mention the flyaway? This happens often 🙄🥺


A ponytail seems easier, and it’s certainly the easiest style for me to achieve. But it doesn’t stay. The standard baby hair bobbles don’t stretch far enough, the interim ones don’t grip, and the smaller adult style? Like the ones I use? Her hair is too fine to use them singly.

So, I learned to braid.

This seems like a simple skill no? Especially as I can crochet (Also knit but crochet seems the most directly comparable skill). But I had never, ever, mastered it.

I’m also dyspraxic, as well as suspected ADHD; and so these aren’t conducive to learning this type of thing. But here is my current skill level:

On the left was a few days ago (we’ve since lost that pink band 🙄) and on the right is today’s.

I’ve since added a new product into our hair care routine.

Hair Shots By Amy

I discovered them while we were away at Great Wolf Lodge (having a Mommy and Me Pedicure 🥰) and we picked up the Cupcake one as that was:

my favourite

According to madam

Thing is? To me and her dad it smells vile 🤣😂 totally fake and cloyingly sweet. But it does make her hair smell nice to her. She adores using “my smelling”. It also dries and fades out to something more tolerable to my nose at least.

It also seems to act as a slight detangler and, I discovered today, controls her hair enough from ponytail to braid, to allow me to braid almost to the bottom of her hair.

Technically, you’re only supposed to use it on the scalp – the instructions are:

Lift hair and spray directly onto your head, 3-6 times depending on hair thickness.

But that’s tricky, so I spray on her parting, especially as that changes through brushing, and lift a few segments. Now also along her ponytail pre-braiding.

And, I wanted to try it myself. Yes yes I know, but it’s marketed to “all ages and all hair types” and I’m suffering in this heat wave.

I’m also an addict of all things Cotton Candy scented. No, really, you ought to have seen the amount of Snow Fairy crap I purchased from Lush over the winter.


Yes, I agree that Lush has turned devil incarnate on the marketing campaigns, and the prices are ludicrous, but apparently bubble bath is not a thing out here, so I occasionally indulge myself. Also the USA products are manufactured in Canada not the Poole factory so I can pretend it’s not so evil.


So I decided to try this one

I love it.

I’ve had numerous compliments on my hair when out and about since I started using it. It’s particularly good as I don’t like over-washing my hair given I basically fry it to oblivion once every four months in order to go full unicorn 🤣😂

There’s also anecdotal evidence that it helps prevent head lice – something to do with “disguising the smell of the hair” (for which I read: disguising the smell of blood under the skin on the scalp).

That’s clearly not been proven in any kind of standardised FDA approved testing, but paediatricians out here are already starting to spout it so why not.


I’m not certain which scents are unisex though, so for now #1 Son is safe 🤣😂


But hey, so far we’ve only had one bout of those nasty crawling buggers in total so anything that is chemical-free and might help keep that so? Gets a huge thumbs up in my book.

I will say though, that these aren’t cheap. Just under $15 a bottle, but it seems to last a while. Going to try the strawberry next on her when I need to replace my own bottle – I use more than she does 🤣😂

Adventures in semi-veganism

Not a title I ever thought I’d write 🙀

And no, I’m not truly vegan at all, but I had already noticed, not even really a week into these new food restrictions, that “vegan friendly” alternatives are my best bet to satiate dairy cravings.

I’m yet to try the solid “cheese” options, but so far I have under my belt:

  • Cashew milk
  • Coconut and almond creamer
  • Oat based “non dairy frozen dessert”
  • Coconut based “non dairy frozen dessert”
  • Strawberry “yogurt” – made with almond milk
  • Vanilla rice crispie treats
  • Chocolate rice crispie treats
  • Vegan butter alternative
  • One cream cheese style spread

So, I thought I would start (potentially) a series of review posts, as I explore life post anything fun.


Okay yes that is a tad dramatic I know, but it’s how it feels goddammit 🤣😂


Reviews Session 1:

So, buckle up my buttercups and let’s start with the…

Coconut and almond creamer

In a word? Vile. I picked it up because I had previously tried soy and (I think) rice milk in my tea back before and during the hysterectomy period and they were thin and horrid. So I assumed that maybe the viscosity was the problem and tried this.

That’s a no from me. I made a single cup of tea, drank it, and threw the rest of the carton in the bin. It was sweet and all kinds of wrong.

See, I’m an oddity (stop giggling at the back there) I like my tea strong. And not sweet. I basically describe it as;

Builder’s tea but hold the sugar

Which generally translates as: if the spoon stands up by itself? Then we are good.

And the problem with a significant amount of these “milk alternatives”? They are sweetened. Or at least way too sweet for my tea palette.

So my hus-creature, who as I may have mentioned is fairly gosh-darned awesome, did a little research for me and came upon this very informative blog post about milk alternatives for tea drinkers.

So we scrubbed the creamer alternative from the list, and moved on to:

Cashew Milk

I know right? How do you milk a nut? Well I’ve also been asking how you milk peas etc and I am still none the wiser 😂🤣

And honestly? As previously noted, cashew milk has been the best that I’ve tried so far. It makes my tea approximately 80% acceptable to my palette. Which is fine. I’ll go with that. It nothing else, it’s cut down on my consumption a little as there is still a slight aftertaste of “something weird and nutty where there should not be nuts” but I will be making a concerted effort to retrain my palette. It’s just going to take time.

So that’s a tick in the plus column. Oh and as it stays “good for drinking” for 7-10 days post opening if kept refrigerated? It’s not as much of a money sink as some of them.


Seriously, only one week in, and the sheer cost of these things is mind-blowing. So anything that has a vaguely decent shelf life is vital.


Next is…

School Safe Marshmallow Bars

I’m supposed to be cutting all added sugar out of my diet too but come on. That in theory means I’m not supposed to eat too much fruit either. And mostly that is solving my sugar cravings. However, I’m also a sucker for Rice Krispie treats and these were a dairy-free equivalent.

No, they aren’t marked as vegan but they are good. More specifically, the chocolate chip one is delicious. The vanilla one?

The consistency is all “off” and honestly does not taste of vanilla. All in all? To quote the great Prue Leith

Not worth the calories

I mean there’s only 90 of them but still. Also not worth the cost. All in all? Won’t be buying the vanilla ones again.

Next up is

Strawberry Almond Milk Yoghurt

Now, there will be a few of these in the days to come, as I am trying different bases (of the milk substitute) and different brands so first up is

So, as you might imagine, I’m more than a little suspicious of non dairy products of this nature, but I’m a game girl so here we go…

On first look I thought

Oh no, I hate “set” yoghurts

And it’s true, Greek style never ever appealed to me. Also the separation liquid always queases me out a touch. However, then I remembered a nifty little trick from when I was much much smaller.

You just take your spoon and stir like a complete maniac.

Et voila – smooth, unseparated yoghurt 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

And honestly? It truly was very tasty. I would happily eat this one again. I couldn’t tell any difference between this and a “normal” strawberry yoghurt. So this one gets a big thumbs up ☺️

Moving on from fridge to freezer:

Frozen Non-Dairy Desserts

I’ve tried two varieties thus far:

I needed something to deal with lack of chocolate, so the hus-creature picked this one from the coconut base end of the spectrum. Honestly?

I was underwhelmed. I mean, yes it had chocolate flavour, but not enough. Once I broke through enough to get to some of the “chocolate hazelnut swirl” it became acceptable at best.

But it does at least look the part. Next up we have:

The oat milk mint chip variety. I actually tried this one first, as I thought that it wouldn’t upset my pre-conceived ideas of ice cream too much. As it turned out, I was right. This one was pretty darned delicious.

I mean, in the interest of giving a truly honest review, it’s consistency was slightly off, and there’s definitely a porridge-like aftertaste, but overall? A darned good attempt at ice cream made from oats of all things. The chips tasted of bitter chocolate and were a pretty good size and texture and the mint wasn’t overwhelming. I most definitely preferred this to the previous one.

I’m not yet feeling brave enough to venture too far outside of my usual flavour profile comfort zone, but this weekend’s grocery shop has netted me two more varieties to try – one of which is Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia in non-dairy which is a firm favourite of old, so I shall report back later once I have sampled.

And finally, two truly acid tests

Butter substitute #1

I was (and still am really) highly suspicious of all of these. And I drew the goddamn line at “I can’t believe it’s not butter” no really those adverts are stuck in my head from years ago and no I’m not encouraging that. Just no.

But this? Well it looked the part:

However, please note the description? See where it says whipped? Nope. It’s not. It’s rock solid straight from the fridge. However, it does have a consistency that allows me to scrape not-butter-curls to allow me to spread it on toast:

And honestly? It’s a bloody good facsimile of butter. I’ve eaten almost all of this week’s half loaf of Artisanal Bread


Oh dear god what have I become?

Is this now me?!?!?


So last, but by no means least is the one thing I was most scared of:

Cheese substitute

The hus-creature persuaded me that a spread type one was the best way to go, and that going straight for one with a strong additional flavour would probably help best to beat my brain into gear. So, here it is:

Interestingly, it’s the same brand as the first yoghurt I’ve tried and we should note that I did like it. I hadn’t noticed when I chose it though 🤣😂

Doesn’t look too bad does it? And actually? Yes it’s delicious. I mean I scoffed two liberally coated slices of bread yesterday and had to force myself to put it back in the fridge. This tub? Cost six dollars. But I may indulge in my baguette meal with this and I won’t want to stab my eyes out with a rusty spork.

Overall? A win. It could be so much worse.

I do still need to brave the oat milk on cereal, and *whisper it* chocolate brownie hummus.

Yes. I bought some. Yes I’m a sick and twisted (slightly hypocritical) individual but guess what? I understand it’s purpose now.

I’m still not ready yet though….

Two years

As of today we’ve been living out here, in Massachusetts, for two years!

I’d say I can’t believe it, but I can.

It still doesn’t feel quite like “home” but I’ll say it now feels more like home than not.

Apart from the people we left behind, I don’t honestly think I have any major regrets left.

There have been some very hard moments in the last 12 months. We had to deal with the first death in the family (on the hus-creature’s side) and some similarly hard news on my own and that was tough.

I suspect that if and when the next immediate family baby is born I will find that equally hard but at least that will be a good thing that has happened.

It’s the hard moments that really make you realise what you did once you emigrate.

We’ve been discussing longer term options once (please oh great Flying Spaghetti Monster) our green cards are confirmed, and it’s making me a bit antsy. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to my audience that I very much would like to move out of here as soon as is comfortably feasible.

We’ve definitely decided to stay in Melrose until TT finishes school, but then might move further into Massachusetts but we shall see.

I think it’s part of trying to handle the giant cloud of uncertainty that this process leaves over your life – planning for when it no longer will.

The children are flourishing here though. #1 Son had a birthday party yesterday that was “organised fun” and despite constant orders to

Pay attention

From the party organiser…


No the hus-creature wasn’t able to take them to one side and explain, which I find myself (probably unreasonably) annoyed by…


He was able to come home with a smile on his face and tell me that he had had fun.

We also celebrated 19 years together and 12 of them married last week.


It helps that there’s only 2 days difference I will admit 🤣😂


Due to difficulties with sitter availability we split the difference and the hus-creature took me out on a wonderful romantic dinner cruise on Thursday night ❤️🥰

We spent some quality 1 on 1 time together with food, and booze and fantabulous views and it was amazing.

I was very spoiled and felt very loved.

We are over halfway through #1 Son’s summer camp and he is still coming out with a smile on his face which is such a relief.

We’ve had some minor breakthroughs with eating but are back on the ups and downs there sadly.

(He has now decided he no longer likes peas).

Got about a month and a half to go til Second Grade, and I’m still praying he gets to keep last year’s teacher as a. She is completely amazing and b. A little bit of stability will do him good.

I’m attempting a doctor-recommended diet which we are describing as “Keto aligned” as when you tell the counter staff at Burger King that, they give you this for your lunch:

Which is surprisingly non-horrible. Basically in an attempt to get a handle on my pain I’m to give up:

  • All dairy 😰😰😰😰
  • Enriched processed food
  • All added sugar in everything (including natural sugars like honey, agave etc)

As those of you who know me in real life can probably guess, this has gone down like a lead balloon. He would also very strongly prefer that I go vegetarian, but I put my damn foot down there.

That may well be where this journey ends, but right now? No fucking way.

Tea with cashew milk is 80% tolerable I have discovered:

And one of the local sushi places does a DIY Poke Bowl for $17 which was surprisingly filling:

So all in all? I’m not at “wanting to stab things” level of anger and rage yet. Though mostly that’s down to the hus-creature who is embarking on this with me to support me. Have I mentioned how much I adore this man?

In closing? Two years has flown past.

From this:

To this:

The First Day of Summer Camp

Which is what we are calling the “Summer Learning Academy” which is a 6 week long, 4 day a week (except the week of Independence Day 😂🤣) for Elementary aged kiddos with IEPs.

#1 Son is enrolled and it started today.

Last year he was put on the fast track side for education. This year they will be focusing on the social side of it.


He’s actually got a specific slot every Tuesday for it, which is great!


That wasn’t too successful, as he resented having to redo Kindergarten work. Now today when I picked him up?

Came running out with a big smile 😍

Now, admittedly it’s only Day 1, and we’ve just had a pretty decent family vacation, but I’m taking that as a positive sign.

Also, given he read an entire story to his sister first thing this morning, and did a reasonable amount of additional reading in class today, he’s thrilled to be told he doesn’t have to do more today 😂🤣

So, since it’s being held 8-12 at the most local school, which is next to our usual playground, I’ve decided to let them both spend an hour or so (depending on weather) in said playground to burn off some energy.


You never know, it might help with the whole “herd of elephants” issue 🙄🙄🙄

Apartment Life

Can suck. Suck utter balls.

We live on the first floor. The landlady lives above on the second floor.

Around December last year, after significant unpleasantness, new neighbours moved in downstairs on the ground floor.

I took down soup and apologised in advance as I have two children, one of whom is around full time.

Everything seemed fine.

While we were away, one of said neighbours complained to the landlady that:

The children run around so much it shakes the light fittings.

Now I admit, my children can be… boisterous… but no more so than any other 3 and 7 year old pair of siblings.

In fact, #1 Son, when left to his own devices, is perfectly happy snuggled in his room with his tablet.

So I was mortified. Since I thought we had dealt with this issue last year.


Apparently there were issues with doors slamming. We put large rubber bands over the relevant door handles and the problems went away


However, more information has just come to light. The landlady and her partner came to do some light maintenance (with about four hours notice this time 🙄) and the topic came up.


Side note: if you’ve never had kids do not try and discipline someone else’s thank you very much. Yes the landlady attempted to talk to TT and #1 Son about the excessive noise and, rather unsurprisingly, was ignored.


However, as it turns out, downstairs have set up a Meditation Room and have placed it under my kid’s bedrooms.

I’m more than willing to work with my neighbours, but that? That is taking the piss.

Fortunately, the landlady’s partner has grandchildren. He understands kids. She is child free, and kind of seems to view children as little aliens/a different species. Which is fair, but I am not hobbling my kids. They are entitled to live in their homes.

And though I would never put it like this – we were here first. They saw us all leaving the house en masse on the day they viewed the property. So they knowingly rented an apartment where they knew there were kids living upstairs.

So, there have been discussions of what can be done. The landlady and partner have suggested they will buy large Ikea rugs for the relevant rooms.


I’m not footing the bill for it. Rugs are a bastard to keep clean.


And I have suggested (and will follow through with) buying slippers for the kids. I have no problem with that.

But I have stated, on record, that while I will happily have “no running in the house” as a rule (indeed have been trying to institute that since we moved in) I am not stopping my kids from playing in the place where they live.

TT is in bed before 7pm, #1 Son before 8pm. That is not unreasonable. I am not putting their lives on hold for a Meditation Room.

I will not be shitty about it, we all need to live together, but I have my limits. I know my kids well, including their flaws, and they are not as bad as is being made out.

Mama Dinosaur mode has been engaged.

Great Wolf Lodge – Part the First

So, after a lot of stress from various home quarters we are here. It’s… impressive.

I’ve never been to Butlins or Centre Parcs, but honestly? I cannot see how it could be better.

Check in was at 4pm, but from 1pm you can have access to the water parks! Also, as everything is indoor, it’s warm and non weather-dependent.

Cue two ecstatic small children.

We basically splashed, slid, swam, and played for two hours whilst our room was gotten ready.

#1 Son went down massive water slides – a major improvement on last summer; and TT is, basically, a fish.

So far we have only explored half of the area, but even in the small swimming area there’s several flumes, slides and a current area for rubber rings (provided) and swimming.

#1 Son went round that by himself. Obviously the hus-creature stayed in the general vicinity, but he didn’t need us, which is fantastic.


Basically we split into two teams – one parent with one child, and TT is basically my shadow whenever she is unsure of her surroundings


And, amazingly, TT wanted a go. So around and around we went, occasionally switching children, because my god is it tiring even with TT in a floatie.

As for the room itself? We are in the classification known as Wolf Den which is standard for a family of 4.

The kids have a little enclosed nook with a bunk bed,


Yes there was a power struggle for the top bunk, no we didn’t allow TT to win it!


And their own little tv – which we have tuned in to Cartoon Network and have declared it done. But honestly? I don’t anticipate us using it much. There’s just so much to do here.

We’ve paid for two premium packages:

    Wolf Pass – for #1 Son. It’s impressive and he gets a significant amount of extras thrown in:
  1. Unlimited rock climbing
  2. One game of mini golf
  3. One game of bowling
  4. One Harry Potteresque game that he and I will do together – he gets a wand and there’s loads of interactive stations all around the resort (I’ve already seen teenagers playing it 🙀)
    Pup Pass for TT – her only “extra” that her brother doesn’t get is one Build A Bear stuffed toy.

So what did she choose? Out of all of the options available to her?

Yup, not any of the bears, nor even the rainbow sloth? Nope. A shark. A bloody shark 🤣😂🤣😂

She even named it:

Yes, she’s a girl shark, called Misty. Yep, I have not one, but two Pokémon obsessed children 🤣😂

Some of the things that they both have access to include:

  1. A free 12oz candy cup – which we paid an extra $2 each to upgrade to a 16oz – #1 Son appears not to like jelly beans though 😖🙄
  2. A free scoop of ice cream, which we’ve yet to cash in on.
  3. 20 free “paw points” to spend in the arcade.
  4. A pair of GWL branded goggles each, which we will claim tomorrow.

And for anyone wondering why we upgraded the candy:

It’s been an amazing day, with 4 more to go!

Both kids are exhausted, and so are we to be honest 🤣😂


However, the room sharing has not gone as well as hoped, though no worse than feared, so the plan tomorrow is simply to wear them out as much as possible.


And I admit, both the hus-creature and myself are already in our pjs. For once we ate dinner at the same time as the kids, and we are settled in for the night. I will be astounded if we are both awake beyond 10pm.

We have paid to include food, breakfast is a separate deal, and booze is available.

Sadly our room is right next to the main play area – the rock climbing, mini golf etc so the noise level is high, but it’s closed by 22:30 and it does appear to be tailing off already.

And as a just because:

Father’s Day 2019

And other stories.

The hus-creature doesn’t tend to see the point of “Hallmark Holidays”, but after almost 2 decades together, understands that they are important to me.

He’s also impossible to surprise. No, honest to god, this has been a bone of contention in our marriage.

I, on the other hand, am oblivious enough that I failed to notice a Playstation 4, in plain sight for over two months.


I wish I were joking – alas, I am not 😳🙄😳🙄


So, how was I going to celebrate the upcoming Father’s Day? Well, for once? I WON!!!!

These arrived on Thursday:

Why yes, yes those would be bacon jerky roses. A dozen of them. Dipped in dark chocolate.

Yes, they lived in the fridge until this morning (and were in fact returned there) and he didn’t peek. The sealed silver Jiffy bag probably helped 🤣😂

He’s not opened them yet, as we head to Great Wolf Lodge tomorrow afternoon and there’s the usual “consume within 3 days” warning, so I shall try and remember to report back once they have been tried and assessed.

He had no idea. At all. He obviously knew it was something edible, but hadn’t even come close to speculating correctly.

The kids thought they were great – #1 Son found the concept of “edible flowers” hilarious, and he knows daddy loves bacon. And TT? She just wished daddy a happy birthday and handed over the gift card 🤣😂

Summer is here!

Annnnnd it’s raining. Because of course it is.

Fortunately yesterday was the last day of school and it was a half day.

We have graduated from First Grade. From this:

To this:

And honestly I could just burst with pride. He’s come along so well. I’ve read his end of year school reports and nearly sobbed. This has been the best thing we could have done for the kiddos.

So, anyway once #1 Son was safely deposited and lunch consumed, I decided to take them to the park – as a quick check of the weather app on my phone pre-informed me of the utterly shocking weather we were due to have today.

They had such fun. #1 Son was playing appropriately with other kiddos, and TT was mostly following around after;

“playing with the other one childrens”

While I knitted.

Yes, while they played, I worked on finishing a project I’ve had on the needles for almost two years. ADHD is such fun when you’re a crafter 🥺

Sadly it wasn’t all fun and games – when it came to going home for dinner, TT reminded me forcefully why going out is such a faff.


And that I should never, ever, forget (or choose not to use) the goddamn stroller 🙄🙄🙄🙄


I had to literally drag her home kicking and screaming – much to #1 Son’s chagrin. But it’s okay, we will work on that. After all, we go away for five days on Monday. I’m sure it will be absolutely fine….

Right? Right?

And, not to toot my own horn, but it’s Day 1 of the summer vacation and we’ve done all the “required reading”, ticked off four of the options for Summer Reading Bingo


Yes this is a thing, no I am not joking…


And made a start on the Math lessons – which are separate to the Summer Reading and Math logs…

I’ve got to wonder how long we will be able to keep that up…