To the elderly lady at the mall

Who tutted and shook her head at us while we were having lunch.

What I want to say is unrepeatable and certainly unprintable.

I will therefore settle for this:

  • I have a special needs child, probably ADHD. He was sitting quietly with his tablet. Do you have any idea what a goddamned miracle that is?!?!?!?
  • Yes, my toddler was running around. In a circle. Around our table. That again is contained.
  • Yes, she was disobeying me and lying on the floor under her chair. Yes, I could have dragged her bodily out and forced her to sit on said chair. But do you know what? That just might have caused Armageddon in terms of shrieking and other loud-decibel sounds. So I stuck to our normal parenting methods and persuaded her out verbally.
  • Yes, I was *shock, horror* using my smartphone at the table. I can do this if I wish. My children were not being loud (unduly anyway, see point 1). They were supervised and I’m a goddamn adult. These are my children and they were ignoring you. At worst, TT was interacting with the slightly older little girl at the table behind us, who kept coming over to play/chat/stare at other children.
  • I am so sorry that things might not be as they were “in your day” but I’m guessing they didn’t have overstimulating, loud strip malls in your day.

So, with the greatest of respect*

Go and sit on a cactus

And breathe. I feel so much better now.

Overall the trip out goes in the plus column. #1 Son behaved relatively well. The only sticky moment came when he wanted to use allowance money to buy another vinyl figurine like the CyberMan one he bought last time.

Which he has since lost. So we have said that if he can tidy his room to a reasonable state (he’s still only 5 after all) and (ideally) find said CyberMan then he may buy something else.

I went to the mall to track down hair dye, as one of the lovely H’s equally lovely daughters has offered to do my hair. They are both professional stylists so I’m thrilled.

Yes, I will be paying them 😂🤣

So this is my current collection:

She will do me full Galaxy/Unicorn 😁😁😁😁

I also went into Hot Topic and came out with these:

And Yankee Candle we’re having a 3 for $10 (plus tax) sale and I have these:

Yes, there are three the same – I love their festive scents so much!

So far a good-ish day. If you ignore the old fart that precipitated this post.


*Not really

Author: Fliss

Wife, mum (of two), yarn-obsessed cat-slave

5 thoughts on “To the elderly lady at the mall”

  1. Fliss, next time you turn to Nathan and say in a loud, carrying voice: ” See, darling, that’s what we were talking about yesterday. It is called de Tourette’s syndrome, and it causes the poor lady to go tut tut and shake her head. You must be kind to her because it is not her fault. She cannot help herself.”

  2. Good! I was hoping to make you laugh! Sorry for my lack of modesty, but I think it sounds deliciously patronising. Let’s hope no genuine Tourette sufferer reads it, though.
    By the way, my sisters think that TT’s wall art started because you gave her bath crayons and praised her to high heaven for her masterpieces. At two she cannot possibly understand the difference between bath art and wall art. They believe that my puppy training idea might work and is worth a try.

    1. She absolutely understands the difference – hence trying to hide the crayon when caught in the act. She’s fully aware that it’s naughty and there are consequences, hence trying to keep it secret.

  3. That’s extremely clever at her age. And the puppy training is much more likely to work. At the moment she thinks: “I love writing on the wall. If I get caught I’ll be screamed at. My love of drawing is stronger than my aversion of the consequence.”. So you need to change the equation, and make her aversion of the punishment stronger. Good luck!

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