Screaming into the void

That’s what I’m doing right now. Only figuratively at least – to do so literally would risk:

  • Scaring and distracting the kids.
  • Annoying/scaring the neighbors.
  • Terrifying the cat.
  • Perturbing the hus-creature

None of which options seem like a particularly smart plan.

Especially annoying the neighbors – since we moved (in May this year) we have some truly wonderful people next door who were:

  • Pleased to see us move in.
  • Made us welcome to the street – on the very day we got the keys in fact.
  • Seem to love the kids – they have a fair number of grandkids so as and when there’s no more goddamn plague maybe there can be some block party type socialization.
  • Have recommended local workmen – one of their grandsons actually cuts our grass every two weeks.
  • Offer advice to us, in a non pushy manner, about things we need to consider/bear in mind when dealing with a 120+ year old home in America.

No, honestly, as weird as it sounds, we’ve never had to deal with an old house and it’s ‘quirks’ before. Our flat in the U.K. was built in 2006. I”ve lived through some of it growing up, but I’ve never owned it.


I’m usually pretty gosh-darned good at putting a brave face on things, it’s something of a specialty of mine. But not today. Not right now. Right now I am this close to doing my Lady Macbeth act again.

We are so close to an election that could break the world into tiny pieces. An election that will materially affect my family and I cannot vote in it.

Normally I can put a brave face on it, and remind myself that part is (hopefully) only temporary, but as it gets closer I can feel my anxiety spiking. There’s so much unknown and no one really thought The Orange One would win 2016 did they?

And 2020 is a whole damn mood on its own.

Today however is a stupidly busy day which probably isn’t helping. Today entails:

  1. Plumbing work – to try and repair major drain issues that mean that we cannot, at the moment flush toilet paper – and haven’t been able to for months – don’t ask. They have to cut a hole in a wall that we didn’t want to use, so that’s another thing to add to the money pit list because it’s in a room that will get a lot of traffic eventually. And the water is switched off so we can’t flush toilets or wash hands (thank the GODS for my hand sanitizers stash)
  2. New freezer being delivered – on the same day as plumbing work. No this was not part of the original plan. But from next week I can finally batch cook and freeze meals for some form of future planning.
  3. It’s snowing. First bloody snow of the season.
  4. It’s bin day and also garden waste collection and the bottom came out of one of the garden waste bags, and the bins aren’t yet collected and did I mention the imminent freezer delivery?

#1 Son also has his second 2:1 violin lesson in less than an hour, which means his concentration for the rest of the day will be shot and after lunch they are allowed to wear their Halloween costumes which means he will be making Pikachu noises all afternoon.


Which will almost certainly mean another email from his teacher about lack of paying attention etcetera


I’m tired. So tired. It’s bone deep at this point.

Author: Fliss

Wife, mum (of two), yarn-obsessed cat-slave